The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's official...I am finally the proud parent of a high school graduate! Graduation is over, I am done cleaning the house and preparing food (for at least 4 years, lolol) although I'm still going to be doing that daily, LOL. My daughter is now officially a "grown up".
I've heard parents of other graduates say how they got teary-eyed at the thought of their child graduating, going on to college, etc., but I haven't been sad or teary-eyed. I'm actually relieved that she made it this far without any major bumps in the road ~ and I helped! I am glad she is finally an adult and that SHE will be responsible for what happens to her, not ME. Is that weird? I guess I have not had any problem letting go of that part of the parenting process.
That does not mean that I am not still going to go crazy worrying about her safety. I will still want to know what time she will be coming home at night, and I will still lay in bed awake until I hear her footsteps upstairs above our bedroom. I will try to practice what Alanon teaches - detachment with love. (Boy am I in for it!) But I am just so, so, so relieved that the responsibility is off of my shoulders. (I do feel selfish for thinking this! I guess it's the pre-Alanon thinking popping up!)
I guess one thing I'm going to be thrilled about is this...she and I will not have to deal with the secretary at her high school reporting to my daughter's step-mom and dad EVERY thing that is going on in our lives (the secretary has been the "snitch" to them, as she is their dear friend.) Anything that my daughter said, did, or even what was going on at our house (i.e., my husband's alcoholism) eventually made it's way to their house via the secretary. Now they will have to communicate with my daughter to find out anything. (They have practically disowned her the last 3-4 years.)
I hope that doesn't sound selfish on my part, but I want as much connection with me to her dad and stepmom as possible FINISHED. I've dealt with his trying to control me (yes, after being divorced for 8 years!) by disconnecting from his daughter. He has been so angry at me for divorcing him that he is taking it out on her. Now she can decide if she wants to put up with his manipulative ways or not. She is officially an adult, and he is going to see what his junk has done to their relationship. She told him that a few years ago...that when she is out of school, she may not want to come see him very much, since he has pushed her away. Now is his time to reap what he's sown.
Okay, I feel better...lolol! Thanks for listening ~
You sound so wonderful Kathi about this whole process. You go girl!!!
I was just sharing at a meeting this morning that being a parent is a life sentence - sigh.
I left my son in Washington DC for the summer. There are quite a few rivers still flowing in DC while I went off alone to do some sightseeing while he was settling hisself.
Congrats on the graduation!! Yes, she did it. Yes, it is hers but I believe kids do not entirely succeed on their own.
love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Here's to you Mom for doing such a great job. If you're daughter is half the woman you are, we are all blessed for having her on this earth, just like you.
Enjoy her graduation! Be proud of her and more importantly be proud of yourself. I certainly am honored to have you in my life and call you friend.
Love and blessings to you and the family! HAVE FUN!
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
It's nice to hear other parents are excited about their children growing up. Mine aren't close to graduating, but when others at my job, talk about how they miss their grown children and don't want them to leave their house and tell me I will feel the same way when mine get to be high school age--I just don't think so. I love my children immensely, but I also think that that's what I'm raising them for--to become adults and live their own lives. Why raise a person who will stay in your house forever? I tell my coworkers--nope I won't be sad when they move out. Will I miss them? Yes, but that's what vacations are for. They are more than welcome to come back and visit and I want to be able to go visit them whenever--but I want them to be grown-ups and have a good life as a grown up!!!
And as far as the ex goes. I can't wait until my children are grown and I don't have to deal with him anymore either!!!
You sound really good and positive! Keep up the good work.
If you're daughter is half the woman you are, we are all blessed for having her on this earth, just like you. 