The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading likens recovery in AlAnon to a Birch tree, rather than an onion, because it sheds its bark on its own after a period of growth: the bark serves a valuable purpose but then fall away as the tree grows and new protective bark takes its place.
If a protective layer of bark is removed too early, it can cause damage to the tree. When the process occurs naturally, however, protection is always in place as old bark gives way to new.
In our recovery, we move at the pace that we can, trading old ways of coping and protecting for new when we have applied program tools that allow growth and change. This will happen as we are ready for it, with no need to force things.
"...We all have our own answers within ourselves and can find them with the help of our AlAnon program and a Higher Power." ...In All Our Affairs ---------------------- Ah, the difference in subtleties...Birch bark, onion, it does matter in this case, as the page notes. When I think about what 'should' happen, and the way I think it should, I'm outside of my lane. Life and people do not develop linearly, in clean, predictable lines.
Consistency over time is the mark of nature, water wearing down stone, small movement and change over time. Alanon works the same way when I keep coming back. As I pause to look back at the gradual, almost imperceptible changes in the short run, they occurred when I was ready, and they did occur.
May I work to have the grace today to allow others their pace and growth naturally...grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and share. Ahhh, trying to force solutions upon my A went on for years. I wasn't drinking so I thought I could get a handle on this for someone else. Wrong! Betty got me to see the uselessness of my behavior. It took awhile, that's for sure. It was hard for me to accept that trying to make my spouse do something was actually not correct. Better late than never, right? My A is approaching 90 days of sobriety in AA and I had nothing to do with it!! :)
So true, I thought I was the arbitrator of what is right, the ReDirector of paths, I knew what others should and should not do and I wasn't shy about letting them know.
That earned me a place in the insanity box and constant unhappiness. Humbling, but absolutely true, that I, and often others, are much better off when I live and let live, stay out of their lane.
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
