The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer had trouble admitting being powerless, and did not want to "surrender." The writer saw this as admitting defeat, and having failed over alcoholism. Gratitude finally sunk in--it did not mean submission! Instead, it meant not fighting reality, not trying to do God's will, and doing one's own part. It's OK to realize we are not in control.
Reminder: Today I can be grateful that the earth will continue to revolve without any help from me. I am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that a Higher Power is taking care of the world, my loved ones, and myself.
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This reading reminded me of myself in early recovery. It had taken me years to overcome damage from my dysfunctional family, and I had finally felt in charge of myself. Unfortunately, I also felt I should be in charge of my A, since I thought I new how to save our marriage. It wasn't until I accepted I was powerless, and stopped trying to force solutions with my A, that I began to recover. It's been uphill since then. Progress not perfection.
Thank you for your service and your share Lyne, powerful and important topic.
As I look back, I admit there was a period of grieving in my early recovery, a humbling realization of how little control I actually held over life, especially others. The spiritual side of ALanon allowed me to eventually feel that as a relief in many ways, a letting go of the burden that trying to exert control always brings.
It remains a struggle at times in particular areas closest to me, but acceptance is still the answer. I do not know what is best for others, but their higher power does. If I just focus on my circle, everything else will work out...grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
