The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading is about an alanon member who was not happy with her meeting and left. She had learned that everybody in the meeting, and everyone in the fellowship, is equal. However one member tended to manage everyone and everything. This member became uncomfortable and decided to try a new group. Instead of giving up on alanon, she joined a new meeting to see the alanon fellowship in action.
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I have recently experienced a similar situation. I found a home group that I attended for almost 10 years. And for the longest time, I was happy there. But during covid one member stood out--she became critical of others, would stop us in the middle of speaking, and didn't seem to mind embarrassing members. I suffered two attacks from her and saw others shamed. When they switched back to in person only, I decided to find and try a new group. I felt a real sadness about leaving, but it was no longer acceptable for me. I have been in a new group now for maybe two months. The members so far are kind and welcoming. I'm feeling safe and grateful.
TT, I'm sorry about your shock and anger. I appreciate your share very much. I was surprised that in my home group, one person began hurting others. I was initially hurt and angry, but then realized I should not have to put up with shaming and abuse in my alanon group! Now that I'm away from them for about two months, I have to accept that nothing is perfect so I cannot expect that in my former home group. We are all different people with a common goal, and in different stages of recovery.
I hope you can pull together some of your former members, or find a new wonderful situation for yourself. {{{Hugs}}}
