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Post Info TOPIC: 9/19/23 ODAT - Alcoholism Doesn’t Remove All Marital Responsibilities

~*Service Worker*~

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9/19/23 ODAT - Alcoholism Doesn’t Remove All Marital Responsibilities

Today's writer reminds that alcoholism is but one of the possible challenges of maintaining a marriage. The presence of alcoholism, therefore, should not be used as an excuse to give up on our efforts to control and improve on our own faults and shortcomings in the relationship. 

" sickness and in health, for better or for worse..."

There are places in this reading that may seem to invite pushback, but ultimately it raises the same question for me always to consider: What is my role in it? Could I have interacted and communicated in a more constructive way? Could I have done better? 

For me, knowing that I have room to improve and work on me helps me return to a more spiritual perspective and away from dumping blame for everything on the alcoholic. 

Grateful for the wisdom of the program  




"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 

Senior Member

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Posts: 395

Thanks Paul for today's reading and your share. Grateful for Al-Anon's inventory and accountability steps 4 and 5. They are helpful for all of my relationships. Self inventory helps me to know myself more, practice healthier personal boundaries and acknowledge and respect another person's right to have their own personal boundaries. Listen and Learn has been a helpful slogan when turned inward as well as outward.


Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2672

Thanks for your service Paul and all ESH above. I recently said to my spouse: in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. It was not received graciously! But no matter, because one of the important lessons in alanon is for me to do no harm, not to me, and not to anyone else. I find many times, I have the ability hold my comments to myself. And sometimes after that, I ask myself if those thoughts are productive and the person I strive to be? No matter what my A is doing, I want to be a kind and compassionate person. That does not mean I allow abuse, but I handle everything in a better way. Yes I am a grateful member, and I look for progress, not perfection. :)



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