Today's reading speaks about our relationships with the alcoholics in our life.  It focuses on possible expectations that sobriety will eradicate all of our problems. The reading uses the marriage relationship and further explains that this is a fallacy.  The reading states that despite alcoholism impeding marriages that might otherwise have had a good chance of success, sobriety doesn't clear the way. Sobriety still requires adjustments to one another. It goes on to state "Al-Anon's prime purpose is to help us deal with the problems that alcoholism has aggravated." It mentions that Al-Anon program can aid in improving other relationships as well and that is a  program one can use for the rest of their life.

The quote is "We all of us, need some kind of a philosophy to live by," an AA speaker, "so I'll settle for the Twelve Steps."

This reading really resonated with me today because yesterday I faced that a very long friendship was over and officially ended it. I credit our program for helping to reason out what is reasonable and what no longer works for me concerning my relationships with others.

Currently, I am grateful for the courage to walk away from a relationship that was no longer working. I had found many excuses to continue including trying to accept the other as they are today while dismissing injury (not physical)  to myself, a skewed sense of loyalty as well as sentiment for how we use to be with one another. I realize that despite my best efforts to use various Al-Anon tools to keep this friendship going, it was becoming more difficult and apparent that it's become a very unbalanced relationship lacking in participation, respect and support from the other person. Although I've taken my personal power back to politely state my feelings, ask for what I need and feel I deserve, the person has acknowledged my feelings yet become increasingly unavailable in recent years on many levels. I've attempted heart to heart talks, offers of support and expressed gratitude for our friendship. Yesterday, I politely ended my connection to them without criticism or ridicule. I simply stated facts around our relationship in more recent years and that it was no longer workable for me.

I credit Al-Anon for making progress in courteously communicating my feelings. It's become a bit easier to say what I mean, mean what I say and to not say it mean. I feel sadness today rather than resentment that this person is not showing up in ways that make for wholesome friendship. I don't do well with endings. In the past, I turned myself inside out to not to enact them, accept them from others, went into denial at times. I forced outcome. I stayed until the pain of participation was excruciating, didn't honor what I was feeling inside. I'm grateful to no longer do that thanks to Al-Anon's lessons of self worth. An early Al-Anon sponsor gave me a key chain when she heard my 5th step. It has an Al-Anon coin that says "To Thine Own Self Be True." It's helped me to make progress to live authentically, to recognize and prioritize myself in ways I formerly had dismissed.