The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The author of this days reading began to understand how the "guilt" they carried was such a "burden" and that when they made their amends
how it helped them to clear their "conscience" and put the past behind them.
They ran into a temporary problem with making amends to those who no longer were living but quickly learned that changing their "present
behavior" enabled them to not only help themselves but help others as well.
Todays Reminder: "I can't make past wrongs disappear, but I can take actions that will help me to let them go." "When I make amends, I
do what I can to correct the situation." "Then I can put the past in its rightful place and leave it there."
Todays Quote: "Let me remember that the reason for making amends is to free my own mind of uneasiness." ~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
I worked steps 7-9 twice to help me clear my conscience because I; like the author did not know how to make amends to those people who were no longer alive.
I learned that Steps 7-9 are called the "Making Up" steps .
I found that there were amends that I made to people who were not approachable and correcting the issue by changing my behavior and perspective helped me to
move on as well.
Now as I navigate life my goal has been to correct any uncomfortable situation, if I can, so that I do not carry any guilt that I have may hurt someone.
How has making amends helped in the past and present for you?
TGIF!!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Owning my part, and making amends is so freeing. Before Al anon, I thought that I was always right, I knew best, they deserved what i said etc etc. The thing is, I didn't feel good about some of the ways that I handled a situation. Now, when I am wrong, it is so much easier to make my amends and let it go. I can sleep with a clear mind and don't have to keep rehashing things over and over again in my mind.
Thanks Debbie for your service and both above ESH. I always felt bad/wrong and carried around a ton of guilt about myself--never felt good enough or able to fit in. Doing the Steps with my sponsor not only helped me see people I could make amends to, but helped me forgive myself. I did the best I could with what had been given to me. And now when I perceive I have hurt someone or could have done something better/differently, I do not have a problem saying that to the person (when possible), and of course, striving to change and not repeat mishaps is what I try to do. Progress not perfection. :)
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