The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One member recalls the gulf that opened between she and her daughter when she tried to prevent daughter from taking a particular action.
Focus on Step 1 and her powerlessness pulled her back from acting, she let go and let God. The hatred her daughter developed dissipated, they were able to regain a relationship because they accepted each other for who they were.
Reminder In a crisis consider the wisdom of not immediately stepping in to exert our control, perhaps showing patience to let some things work out.
"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." - Thomas Merton: No man is an Island
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This is a heavy page with some uncomfortable truth in it for me. This is so much easier in distant relationships, close relationships offer more of a struggle.
Talking with the expectation that they will see things from my perspective has long been an area of work. Separating myself from the attitudes and actions of those close to me is more of a challenge when I'm convinced that I will be affected.
This page points to an alternative to trying to change their course in coming to appreciate their differences, trying to see the positives to them, how it enriches rather than detracts. At the very least, remembering that it is their right to choose, not ours...
This page is still very much a work in progress for me...grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Paul for your service, share, and honesty. Uncomfortable with this reading applies to me. I am also a work in progress and have to practice a lot, perhaps daily, in this area. Because for letting someone else make decisions for themselves, when I think they are self-destructive, is not easy to just let go and let God. Alcohol abuse is alcohol abuse, and other substances can be as well. I do know I have to focus on myself, and live and let live. Most of the time I am able to do this. Progress not perfection.
