The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer says that looking for sympathy from others is merely food for the self-pitying ego. It can weaken character and destroy dignity. Instead, we need to remember that no situation is hopeless. Can we do things to improve our situation? Can we let go of other's obligations which may hinder improvement? Can we ask for our Higher Power's guidance? Can we act on the guidance we receive?
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I guess in a nutshell the take away here is do we let ourselves ask for help and can we put the focus back on us? I recall in my early life, when I lacked courage and confidence, sympathy from others seemed to be my life saver. That was not a healthy way to live--it created a dependency on others that I didn't understand until years later. Alanon has given me the tools to depend on myself most of the time, and that it's OK to ask for help when needed. I check in with my HP everyday, and listen for answers. Alanon has helped me grow into adulthood, which I much prefer. Progress not perfection. :)
I have never been ok with sympathy from others. I just don't like it and am very uncomfortable with it. I am learning to accept it from others though and thanking them for it.
I say that because I have also learned sometimes we need a little sympathy from others There's nothing wrong with it. Whereas before, I didn't like to reach out for help or turn to others because it felt to me like I was seeking sympathy from them.
There's a huge difference in allowing others to have sympathy for us if they choose to and having/wallowing in self pity.
