The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page notes that comments we read/hear, ones we may have even heard before, can strike us differently or lead us to a new perspective in a new context.
Such was the process as one member realized that the term 'mind your own business' summed up well the concept of Alanon.
Reminder - I will focus on what is truly my own concern and keep out of others', including the alcoholic. This includes attempts to help, control, or shield.
"When you are offended at anyone's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. By attending to them, you will forget your anger and learn to live wisely." - Marcus Aurelius ---------------- So true...phrases like 'thy will, not mine' or even 'mind your own business' are easy to recall and pack a lot of program into a small package.
This is just enough sometimes to refocus my mind when I feel myself slipping, feel my irritation rise. Truly, less can be more in times of need, grateful for the simple things
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you for today's reading and your share. Looking forward to reading the shares on this topic.
"So much depends on our own attitudes, as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives." - Al-anon's Suggested Welcome
This quote from our suggested Al-anon meeting opening offered hope to me as a newcomer to the program. Maybe if I kept coming back I could find answers that would help lift my obsession with the alcoholics, change my focus, have greater peace of mind. The alcoholics in my life were not really the cause of my harm, I was. I kept "doing the same thing and expecting different results." If I viewed the alcoholics in my life as the "sick" ones, I could deny my own sickness of over involvement.
The quote by Marcus Aurelius in today's reading has been a go to for me for a very long time.
"When you are offended at anyone's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. By attending to them, you will forget your anger and learn to live wisely." - Marcus Aurelius
Spiritual condition plays a big part in success working this, my ability to be humble, non judgemental on any given day. Doing the footwork is important. For me that means ongoing work on resentments. A focus on admirable traits and characteristics of those whom I resent can often bring about that change in attitude that can aid recovery. A look at perceived negative actions, traits, communication from the other and inventorying myself for an honest comparison of each has been humbling. "We" are not perfect."
I see resentments as self inflicted punishment. You may have heard the saying in our program "Resentment like drinking poison and waiting for the other to die." There is no good outcome. The Serenity Prayer is a great survival tool. There is a feeling of calmness when praying it. Not always, but often, my higher power will bring a spiritual awakening - guidance to next right action for me to take concerning a person, place, thing but especially with a focus on self. Consistently it returns the focus to myself and the first priority relationship in my life - my relationship with my loving higher power.
I'm grateful for a loving hp and loving fellowship such as Al-anon that continues to share and show me new ways of seeing and applying program tools and principles. When the obsession with others is lifted from a place of sanity, I am teachable, capable of listening for the message as it may apply to my own life.
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Tuesday 30th of May 2023 08:04:01 AM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you Paul for your service and all above ESH. I find that sometimes are easier than others to just let go and let God. And when I harbor resentment or anger, it just ties me to the problem instead of letting me move on. I can break that tie when I can put the focus back on myself. Looking at what I need to work on can restore some balance. :)
Good Afternoon Everyone. Thank you Paul for your service/ESH. I appreciate all the thoughtful shares on this topic. Mind your own business certainly packs a lot of program. When I'm focusing on others, it's a sign that I've violated boundaries. Instead of fixing what's wrong within, I take responsibility for matters outside of my control. Grateful for repeated reminders to work on the most important business-relationship with my HP.
Interesting topic. Yesterday I was really aware of just how much I tend to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. I am always trying to help and solve issues for others,even those that I have just met. It seems so harmless,always helping everyone but in reality it just keeps me stuck in that same old pattern of putting everyone before myself. My people pleasing ways i think,are my coping skill,always wanting others to be happy,but dang,what about ME?
MYOB....
I need to work on that,remember that and practice that
