The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This day's reading is about how the author used to put on a faηade in order to present themselves as "easy going and happy" in order to fit in.
They compared themselves to other people who they thought were much better off then them in the confidence department.They felt left out
whenever anyone disagreed with them and learned in Al-Anon that it is alright when there is a disagreement because it doesn't always mean
that someone is wrong, it just means that there is a difference of opinion and everyone is entitled.They no longer felt like they were not fitting
in anymore.
Todays reminder: "If I compare, I lose." "Maybe I'll come out feeling better than somebody this time, but next time I'm bound to feel worse."
"The best way to stop feeling that I'm not good enough is to stop comparing altogether."
Todays Quote: "Little by little, we come to realize at our meetings that much of our discomfort comes from our attitudes." ~ Understanding Ourselves and Alcoholism
I have to say that Al-Anon and the conversations with the membership did help me so much with my ability to deal with conflict and disagreement.
I lacked so much confidence in myself when I arrived here on MIP and immediately learned that my attitudes were driven in large part by the
constant misunderstanding of the alcoholic in my life. I had no idea that alcoholism could cause so much chaos and confusion!!! I had a lot to learn
but so glad I found Al-Anon!!
Has Al-Anon helped you with your confidence as well?
TGIF MIP Family!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thanks DM for today's reading and your share. Some Al-anon topics that come to mind after reading this page are perfectionism, self love and acceptance. It speaks about finding the "right" words, clothes etc. for purposes of acceptance by others. As a newcomer to Al-anon and lacking in self worth, I certainly did seek an identity through being hyper focused on others thought of me. There was much conflict within myself. My efforts to mask that insecurity included mimicking others who seemed more secure and acceptable to others. My goal was acceptance. There was little discernment concerning healthy and unhealthy behaviors.
I am so grateful to have a program of recovery, members of Al-anon who love me and continue to love me as I am as well as a higher power who loves unconditionally. Grateful to have come through the other side to love myself as I am and no longer make other people my higher power... unbeknownst to them. :)
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you Debbie for your service. I can relate to so much in the reading and both above shares: I was chameleon trying to fit in, no self-worth, afraid of conflict, lacking confidence and self-esteem, and never felt accepted. One of my favorite Bettyisms, is "compare equals despair." Alanon has taught me that I can accept myself, and treat myself with self-respect. I no longer care if I don't "fit in." I can celebrate me even if no one else does!
