The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ah and I separated on my request two months ago and I am struggling with what to do. He denies drinking. I think I cannot cope with living with him while he actively drinks but I do not want to end a relationship of 20 years, or do I? One minute I want in, the next minute I want out. I am scared of being on my own, scared financially, scared emotionally. I am scared of being with him - scared of being so incredibely lonely and rejected - he works and drinks, he does not talk, he does not do anything just works (a lot) and drinks. Please, someone tell me that it will get better.
I don't know if "it" (the situation) will get better. I do, however, know from experience that through this program and working the steps, I got better. It didn't happen over night. But little by little, I have changed. For me, I'm not just talking Al-Anon, because actually, I'm fairly new with it, but I have worked the steps through AA, and I know that my life is TOTALLY different than I ever could have imagined. The steps teach me to focus on MY part, MY behavior, MY attitude, basically MY side of the street. The steps and the folks in this program give me the tools to live a better life and to meet most, if not all, life's situations from a different perspective.
The things that have helped me the most have been having a sponsor, getting to plenty of face to face meetings, and working the steps. I've also been one who has never been afraid to pick up the phone and make a call when necessary - even when not necessary so I could be ready when it became necessary.
I did end up needing to do some outside work, too, in the form of counseling.
So...I guess I'd just like to say, keep coming back!
I separated after 22 years of marriage because I could not handle it anymore. I do not know whether "it" will get better but I do know that through the program and my sponsor "I" have gotten better.
Through the program I have learned to have patience, to let go and let god.........not to be impatient, not to ask God for what I want but rather for what he wants for me..... For the longest time I have to admit, I was telling God what to do, what I wanted to be happy........ like I knew!.... He He He!...... I have learned to stay in the moment........ The past is behind me, the future is a mystery but today, today is a blessing..........
