The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading looks at where we place our focus. Is it on the alcoholic? Is it on ourselves in a self-defeating way (do we feel hopelessly defective)? Are we blaming others or waiting for them to change? Alanon reinforces the need to put the focus on ourselves in a positive way. Having a sponsor and doing the Steps can be enormously helpful. We can make amends while slowly changing our behavior, and accept the rights of others not to change.
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Sounds so simple but it is easier said than done! It took me the first few years in alanon to understand that I need to look at myself and try and change what I can. That meant breaking through my denial to see my defects in the first place. I guess the next few years meant learning to detach with love as much of the time as I was able. And now I'm at a point of knowing a lot of what's good for me, but I still need to lean into program and practice, practice, practice. Focusing on myself is much better than focusing on others' defects, but I still need alanon. Progress not perfection. :)
I sure needed the reminder to place the focus on myself in starting this new week. There's so much going on right now that I have no control over but have really been stressing on the outcome/consequences someone else may suffer.
Today's reading reminds me to just focus on myself. Period.
