Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change May 3

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1089
Courage to Change May 3

Hello MIP! 

In today's reading, the author discusses detachment. At first, the author thought of detachment as cold and rejecting, but now sees it as a wonderful gift because the author is allowing their loved ones the privilege and opportunity to be themselves. 

The author also reflects on many of their attempts at intervention being related to trying to prevent pain for their loved ones. However, the author also realized that when they interfere, they prevent their loved one from the joy and self-confidence that comes from their own personal achievements. 

Today's Reminder: Sometimes it is more loving to allow someone else to experience the natural consequences of their actions, even when it is painful for us both. In the long run, both of us will benefit. Today I will put love first in my life. 

Today's Quote: "All I have to do is keep my hands off and turn my heart on." ...In All Our Affairs


I see a lot of myself in the authors words today. I have consistently tried to protect my AW from pain, also protect from the pain of truths about how I am feeling. Today's reading helped me to think about what I might be preventing her from learning when I try to protect her from the pain from sharing how I am feeling in certain situations. Something to continue to think about, for sure!  



If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu

Senior Member

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Posts: 438

Good Morning Skorpi. Thank you for your service/ESH. Detachment has been a great tool for learning how to build healthy relationships. I used to give 110% of myself to others in family, friendships, employers or nothing . Indifference was my idea of healthy detachment. The Serenity Prayer, steps and members' ESH help me develop relationships that are balanced without interfering with growth. Prayer, getting busy, minding my own business, live and let live get me into action because detaching (with love) is not a pain-free permanent state. Grateful for MIP. Have a great day.


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2672

Thanks Skorpi for your service and all above ESH. Since I live with an active alcoholic, detachment (and I try "with love") when humanly possible, has become a survival mode for me. Yes I used to try to control and force solutions, which 99% of the time I no longer do. But I am watching a loved one continue with self-destructive behaviors. Usually I cope very well using all of my program tools, but today I admit I'm feeling sad about my marriage (31 yrs). This too shall pass.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 915

Thank you Skorpi for your service and thank to you, Daffodils and Lyne for all your ESH as well.

I kind of echo Lyne concerning detachment with love, I do try and 99% of the time and are able to

accomplish what I set out to do and that is to create space for the sake of peace and the ability

to take that step back to determine if it is really worth the stress and drama.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


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