Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Monday, May 1, C2C, if only....

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2672
Monday, May 1, C2C, if only....

If only my alcoholic would get sober or handled sobriety differently I would be happy.  But many if only's keep us feeling deprived-- if my boss, family, job, government, finances, would change in the way I want, then I could be happy.  With Step 1 we learn that we are powerless over many things.  The if only's make our lives unmanageable, and we need a Higher Power to restore us to sanity.  When we stop acting like victims, we can take a more active role in finding happiness in the here and now.  We can change our attitude and accept life as it is.  We can be grateful and happy, with what we have.


Yep that's all I had to do--change my attitude, accept I was powerless, lean into my HP and program, and then I'd be fine.  Easier said than done!  But with time, patience, and practice, this is exactly what I'm doing in recovery.  My A is not sober and there are real life problems in many areas of my life.  I can focus on the good, or dwell on the bad. I have choices and most of the time I can make good ones.  :). Progress not perfection.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 915

Great reading Lyne, thank you for your service and todays reminder and ESH.

Ditto on coming to the realization that my attitude needed to be checked and working

the Al-Anon Steps pointed me in the right direction. When the motives for my actions

and attitudes were tested I learned what was appropriate and what I needed to move

on from.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 951

Great page, thank you for your service and both for your ESH of the program in action, the challenges of real life, but how consistency over time can melt stone.

I like the saying: We often overestimate what we can accomplish in a year, underestimate what we can in ten.

The Program reminds me of exercise, where the day's or even week's work is often not apparent, but if I keep at it consistently the change WILL happen.

Grateful for the reminders



"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 

Senior Member

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Posts: 143

Good afternoon

I am also grateful for all the reminders!

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