Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: 4/25/23 ODAT - Remembering Our Powerlessness

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 963
4/25/23 ODAT - Remembering Our Powerlessness

Today's page captures essential Alanon:

* the only person who can move the alcoholic to want to get sober, and become sober, is the alcoholic
* my attempts to lever the alcoholic toward what I think is best IS a mistake, and WILL make things worse
* this concept also applies to all things we cannot control
* Alanon can guide us toward spiritual health and truly helpful behavior 

Reminder Step One identifies two necessary steps: acknowledge that I cannot control the alcoholic, and instead, address the unmanageability of my own life.

"Help me to find peace of mind within myself by uniting myself with God's power and guidance. That is the spiritual way out of my difficulties - the only sure way." - Unattributed
Step 1: simple, yet absolutely connected to my every thought and intention.  

Most of my discomfort originates from my efforts to leverage people, places, things outside of my control, rather than my own thoughts and actions. 

The Serenity Prayer has long been a starting point for my thought alignment at the beginning of the day.  I realized as I read this over that I had inadvertently dropped it. Not a coincidence that my efforts to leverage others instead of myself have been creeping up lately...

It works when, and only when, I work it...grateful for the needed kick in the pants  




"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 

Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 143

Good morning

I find it so interesting but mostly so frustrating how deeply ingrained wanting to change/fix/control someone else so that I feel better can be. And that's what it is really I think,that I want things to be how I want them and people to be how I want them to be so that it makes my life easier and so I can feel better by not worrying and stressing so much about things or about them.

In actuality though, I can't even make the changes in myself that I want to make,at least not as easily or as soon as I would like so why on earth would I believe I have any power to change someone else? I have a hard time making decisions for myself so why would I be trying to make someone else's decisions for them?

I can't even manage myself or my own life so not trying to manage others is a daily challenge.

Have a good day


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 916

I have learned this valuable lesson of Al-Anon's Paul and SunnyFrog. Thank you so much for today's

reading and discussion. There are times that in my everyday life I slip, it isn't always easy to maintain

that thought process with everyone and every circumstance, but knowing I am powerless is pretty

much ingrained due to the number of years in Al-Anon. I do admit that accepting the fact that I must

mind my own business on these matters has made my life much more manageable and less stressful.

SunnyFrog I believe that because you are here working this program will benefit you and commend you

for working at it everyday! Paul thank you for your lovely ESH and your service.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 439

Good Morning Everyone. Wow. Sometimes coming to this board is downright spooky. It's like you guys live in my head. I 'm struggling this morning to get motivated to take care of my business. The person I habitually try to fix self -corrected without my nagging/input. It's funny how I can muster phenomenal strength to manage their lives but I get lazy/procrastinate when I need to focus on myself. Yep, my life is definitely unmanageable. Anyways, as I was recently instructed, I must remain steadfast in my prayers- particularly the Serenity Prayer. Thank you Paul for the reminder and all the spooky shares. lol


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2729

Thank you Paul for your service and all above ESH. I guess Step 1 is Step 1 because without it, I would not be able to move forward. But I have learned that using my time and energy is much better spent trying to control myself, than others. Did this come easy? Heck no. Can I do it 100% of the time? Heck no! But progress not perfection allows me to see my growth without expecting something I'm incapable of. Wisdom of alanon, thank you.



Page 1 of 1  sorted by
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.