The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is definitely time to share some of the things that have been going on in my world--the one that revolves around me. Yes, I am full of it today. But, honestly, do I really need to say honestly? If I can't be honest on here when can I really be? So, now that that is said, I can get to the stuff that I am going through. I am now a widow of just over 4 mos for those who don' t know me or for those who haven't heard by now. I am struggling daily w/ grief as you might have figured. But, because of the Program, I can say that I am doing my best to live one day at a time. Every day is a new chance to either let the grief get me or practice the art of making each day count for something. I prefer the latter.
I hope that my story will help someone else who has recently lost or at anytime has lost their husband. I am not alone. I have been through a rough time but see how my experiences can benefit others.
The last time I posted I believe was about the fact that my dear husband was very ill mentally for a long time. But, fortunately he was sober over 16 years at the time of his death. I never want to make it sound like I don't want to honor him in his memory. He was a great man. He lived the Program of AA & was highly respected by his peers in the meetings. He wasn't a bad guy at all. He had the disease of alcoholism & was a proud member of AA. At his memorial service, some said that he always seemed to have a smile on his face. I tend to agree. His laugh made me laugh.
So, I said that today was fantastic. That is somewhat true. But, the fact is there is some sadness every day. I guess this may be true every day. But the sadness does not control the full effect of the day. It is just a fact & a feeling & it does go away for awhile. I have some control of the tears. I have some control. I am not in total control though. That is where God comes in. He gives me freedom of choice. I choose to be happy or sad. Yes, my tears are flowing often. I am actually OK right now. guess I really do belong here because I feel this is a safe place to share.
Hi HN, glad you stopped by to let us know how you are doing. Sadness, I find, is easier to
understand and handle when shared. Sharing lets us all know that it is alright as long as
one has a program and allows for expression and feeling. {{HUGS}} We are here for you!
ODAT and you are doing great!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
{{{Hoot Nanny}}} I understand your pain and grief and all I can say is that you won't always feel the way you do today. Very glad you are relying on your program tools and HP to help you. Many people find it helpful to journal daily when rough times hit. It's a release and you can say whatever you want to. Keep coming back. Prayers to you....
Thank you for sharing your loss, your pain, and how you handle those two things.
Glad that you find this a safe place to share!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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