The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about the difficulties we can find ourselves in when someone, specifically the alcoholic in our lives, speaks to us
in a way that makes us feel angry and hurt. The reading raises the issue of martyrdom and how we learn in Al-Anon that to view the
alcoholic as we would anyone else with a disease and that playing out our hurt without searching for our own appreciation for our lives,
aside from the issues of the alcoholic, is the our ultimate goal in Al-Anon. Our hurt, when we carry it around with us, costs us our peace
and happiness. We must learn to grow past those hurts and not identify with them as we work the program.
Todays reminder: "There is so much to appreciate in life." "I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."
Todays Quote: "....the greatest part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." ~ Martha Washington
I do experience this very issue on a daily basis with the alcoholic in my life and Al-Anon has helped me so much in this area, which is a big one.
I do set boundaries for what is totally unacceptable and believe that everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to this issue.For the most
part I walk away because unless it is extremely important it is easier to move on with my life. Talking with an alcoholic is just fruitless and I see it
all for what it is.Thank you Al-Anon and MIP!
Happy New Year to the MIP Family!!
P.S. I amended my original post from "Talking with a narcissist is just fruitless and I see it." to "Talking with an alcoholic is just fruitless and I see it."
because I should not have called the alcoholic a narcissist. My apologies.
all for what it is
all for what it is
-- Edited by DM2021 on Saturday 31st of December 2022 12:00:16 PM
-- Edited by DM2021 on Saturday 31st of December 2022 12:20:35 PM
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
It's been awhile since I have been here. I ended up back here as I was frantically searching online and on YouTube for ways to not feel so hurt and angry when interacting with my husband(who is now my ex). I had to have a conversation with him by phone today and I ended up yelling at him and had myself so worked up I was almost hyperventilating.
And then I thought of this place. And here I am.
Tbh, it has been a real eye opener realizing that just leaving the situation didn't change everything for me instantly like I expected it to. I am still reacting in the same old ways,still getting so hurt and angry and holding onto it,etc. So I am here to work on myself because I definitely need it.
Happy New Year Everyone. I hope you experience peace and joy...one day a time. Thank you Debbie for your service. And Sunnyfrog, glad to see you. Walking away when someone is being hurtful gives me a chance to calm down, examine the true nature of my disturbance, and find an Al-Anon tool to apply. This enables me to maintain my sanity/dignity and am less apt to react/retaliate. Thank you all for contributing to positive growth.
Happiest of New Year to you too Debbie!! Thank you for your service.
I am very appreciative for the reminder today: "There is so much to appreciate in life." "I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."
What a gift you just gave me!! I can get stuck in the "pity party for one," so this reminder is right on time (especially this time of year).
Happy to see you SunnyFrogs! Glad you are putting yourself first.
I agree, Daffodils, walking away allows me the time to remember that I have a very effective tool box in which to choose my actions.
Hope you all have a safe New Year's Eve!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
