The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the role that truth plays in our lives. The writer states that truth can be comforting or disturbing. We might hear someone speak the truth and feel grateful. We might hear the truth in another situation and feel intimidated. There are times we may hear the truth about ourselves and feel angry or embarrassed. I appreciate how all of this is acknowledged in the last paragraph of this reading without judgement: when given the occasion to speak or hear an uncomfortable truth, we have choices. We can hear it, share it, and growor we can maintain what is our area of comfort. The truth gives us an opportunity for growth, then we can decide.
What struck me about this reading is how very difficult it can be to speak plainly. I have found myself cushioning what I want to say at times for fear of. Being incorrect? Not being liked? I dont mean that we should veer off into stating things that will hurt another person. I think that is a completely different thing, and with other (negative) motives. But this reading made me think of a saying that has helped me when I have something difficult to say (or to hear): Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Dont say it mean.
The Thought for the Day asks: Do I face the discomfort so I may embrace the growth?
Thank you Mary for your service and your ESH on this topic. I am also appreciating Debbie's ESH.
I have always dealt with Life better when faced with truths. Even if those truths are hard to face. I do well with more information. Since coming to Al-Anon, I have learned that this behavior (for me) is rooted in Control. Now I know that word has negative connotations here, But in this case, this type of "Control" helps ease my anxiety about the situation, so more truth is a good thing for me. Al-Anon has helped me to recognize that not all Control is a bad thing for me. Sometimes, it can serve a good purpose.
Thankfully, Al-Anon has helped me to understand how to deal with the truths that are hard to face. It has also helped me to embrace and practice, "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it meanly." It may be my most favorite slogan!
Since I cannot come here regularly anymore, I would like to wish those in the US who celebrate Thanksgiving, a happy & safe one filled with those you love & good food! AL-Anon, and those of you on this forum (past & present) will be part of my Gratitude List on that day!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks for sharing this page Mary, and for all for their helpful ESH.
Such a great topic, and a thoughtful way of presenting the benefits. I am a strong believer in this line of thinking and action, particularly as a concept of honesty in close relationships.
Mary, I also appreciate that saying of 'not saying it mean', that is an area of my needed reminder as I must remember that my willingness to say sometimes uncomfortable things is not always equally matched by others' eagerness to hear them. I do so value the freedom that comes from opening a topic to another for further consideration and discussion, it is most certainly worth my effort to convey it considerately as possible.
Great topic and reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
& 
