Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change October 26


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1066
Date:
Courage to Change October 26


In today's reading, the author reflects on gossip. They share that in the past, they were able to vividly recall the words, criticisms,  and insults of others. In turn, the author treated others cruely. When insulting others, the author would feel better about themselves momentarily, but that feeling fled after a few moments. The author realized that gossip had been an excuse to avoid focusing on their own character. 

Today's Reminder: Many of us tend to react rather than act. When we hurt, we may want to strike out and hurt someone else. In Al-Anon we learn that we can interrupt this automatic response long enough to decide how we really want to behave. 

Someone else's unkindness is no reason for me to lower my standards for my own behavior. When I take responsibility for my actions, regardless of what other people do,  I become someone I can be proud of. When  I feel good about myself, it's much easier not to take insults personally.  

Today's Quote: "If one throws salt at thee thou wilt receive no harm unless thou hast sore places." Latin Proverb

-------------------------

Taking time to think before taking action has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I often jump into situations and fix or solve problems. This worked great when I was working in nursing. If there was a medical crisis, someone had to jump in and take charge, and I did that well. I've found that that particular skillset, though, doesn't help me in my current career or my personal life. Now, taking time to pause, consider what I want to do, and then act has brought me more peace, less stress, and the ability to decide how I want to act, being sure that I'm acting in accordance with what is authentic to me. 



__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 347
Date:

Thank you Skorpi for your service and share. I can relate to having skillets that are praised and rewarded in a work environment but create havoc in a relationship. I am feeling exasperated and almost launched into an argument over something that I now realize is none of my business ! This post reminded to pause and pray and bite my tongue.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 641
Date:

Thank you so much Skorpi for your service, today's reading and to you and Daffodils for both your ESH.

QTIP comes to mind and I can honestly say that when it comes to AH I have learned how to not take any

thing he slings at me personally anymore. I realize under most circumstances that gossip and hurtful

statements, in general, are just a reflection to the person using them and not a reflection on me. If I

respond in kind to that person then I just lowered myself to their level and do not want to go there!!

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.