The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading the author reflected on their life before alcoholism, and how they were at that time focused on how wonderful their life would be if their husband would just stop drinking. Rather than face the emptiness in their own life, the author spent their time dreaming of a future bliss that would come if only their husband was sober.
In Al-Anon, the author had to unlearn romantic views of the future in order to be able to enjoy life in the present. They found happiness with the support of the program when they separated from their husband, and relearned what it meant to find balance between taking care of themselves and being present for their partner when they reunited a couple years later.
Today's Reminder: Recovery can involve as much unlearning as learning. My security cannot be based on learning "the rules," because one I truly learn them, they change. With my HO's help, I will find some security in being exactly where I am today.
Today's Quote: "The Twelve Steps of our program have led me to a faith in God today which is based on acceptance of the world as it is. I no longer agonize over how the world should be." As We Understood...
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The thing that comes to mind for me related to today's reading is the importance of being present in my own life. I spent a lot of time as a child escaping from bullying into the fantasy worlds of books. I saw my female family members escaping their realities into the fictional worlds of romance novels.
I really loved reading, and even got a degree in literature, but I found that in the past few years, I "didn't have time" to read fiction, or "needed a break" from the type of literature that I'd spent years studying and writing about.
This year, I've gotten back into reading (I have 2 teen kiddos placed with me right now, and when they suggested that I read something they were reading, I agreed.) I have been reading books my kiddos are reading, and books that I've had on my shelf for a while. I noticed, though, that the balance in my life was off a bit. When I really got into a book, it felt all-consuming, and I couldn't focus on other things.
I've been reflecting on this a lot. I do think I had a short escape into the fictional world of whatever book I was reading. It was nice to put down my responsibilities for a while, and healthy, I think, to take a break. But I also noticed that I wasn't present in the hear and now as much as I would want to be, and I realized why I've been avoiding fiction. I started working my program around the time I finished my degree, and haven't really touched fiction since then. I think the fictional worlds of the books make it really hard for me to focus on finding enjoyment in my here and now, or even be present in my own life, and so I've found something else for me to work on - balance in enjoying reading, which I really do like, and being able to close the book and return to the reality of my life.
This is something I really like about the program. When I keep coming back, I keep learning new things about myself, and I keep finding new ways to continue to grow.
I hope you make today a great day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Just love today's reading Skorpi, thank you for your service and to you and TT for the wonderful
ESH you both shared. I can attest to the freedom from anxiety and ability to live my life with
with full appreciation for all that I have and learned from Al-Anon and the membership. It is
wonderful to see all the good in my life and be open to all that HP wants me to see and learn.
I am truly grateful.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thank you for service Skorpi and all the shares. You took me to a happy place-remembering my love of reading. English is my second language and reading expedited my learning and expanded my world. I was crazy about Nancy Drew and Pipi Longstocking which fed my sense of adventure. Being an only child, I was never lonely or bored thanks to books. Many places I traveled to were inspired by reading. I feel a sense of excitement...time to pick up a book and enjoy some downtime and seek new adventures:)
Thanks Skorpi for your service, insightful share, and all the above ESH. I'm a Sherlock Holmes fan!
An MIP member who has been absent for a while, labeled before recovery BR. I always liked that.
What stood out to me in the reading is that the author said their security depended on rules. My security used to depend on my romantic partners, all who had addiction of some sort. That was a slippery slope and very unhealthy. I now depend up myself for my security, and I have friends, some family, program people, and my hp that are all available when I need them. I wish I had learned to depend upon myself much earlier in life, but better than never. :)
