The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A new Alanon member arrives with many questions and may seek to answer them by pursuing facts about alcoholism. When knowledge and analysis reach a point of diminishing returns, that path can yield more questions, even agitation, than peace and serenity.
Knowledge can certainly be beneficial, but it's possible that the pursuit may be tied to a desire and need to gain a sense of control over the situation, filling a desire for the world to 'make sense' according to how we may feel things should be, how they work, or 'knowing' why others do the things they do.
Alanon is a spiritual program, so to benefit fully from it our thoughts and actions must be motivated by its spiritual principles in order to yield best results.
Reminder: Knowledge may be empowering, but our intention will determine whether our efforts are, in fact, attempts to gain a sense of power (and therefore, control) over that which we truly cannot.
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." - Kierkegaard ------------------------------ I am definitely a facts and analysis guy, most comfortable when feeling I thoroughly understand and can accurately predict outcomes.
Step 3 concept was a very important spiritual step for me in Alanon: to reach a point of letting go of my constant attempts to 'understand' (my word that thinly disguised my drive to be the expert, the authority knowing what happened, what likely would happen, all compared to what should happen) the things outside of my control and turn those over to my and others' higher power.
In the short term I may feel better feeding my insatiable knowledge appetite, but for long term and spiritual growth, it is usually best for me to leave some things uncatalogued...let go, let my higher power.
Very grateful for the reminders and wisdom of Alanon
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and share. I also like learning about things. Alcoholism was something I knew little about, except for how it impacts others. And my A and I celebrated our 31st anniversary yesterday, and it was bitter sweet for me. I needed to understand the disease of alcoholism, and then apply the knowledge to my life. One of my Bettyisms: stop trying to force solutions. This has been an important lesson for me. Grateful member always.
Thank you Paul for your service and shares. Happy Belated Anniversary Lyne. I truly appreciate the work done to keep this board alive . The knowledge that I am powerless has served me well and an unexpected consequence has been comfort and hope. The day I've dreaded for years came to pass. My mother- in- law died Monday night and everything I KNEW would happen did not. My husband did not have a meltdown-he was numb and quiet. My HP had the right people materialize to lend support. MIP has taught me to stay in my lane which allows him to process/grieve in his own way/time. I have been following directions instead of forcing ideas on how to deal with loss of a parent. I keep my experiences out of the solution. Thank you for reminding me to Let go and Let God. There are difficult days ahead but I KNOW when I use program tools and principles, each moment/step will be grounded in serenity.
