The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This writer thought that anger, resentment, jealousy, and fear were "bad" feelings. But program says feelings are not bad or good--they are just a part of who we are. The writer goes on to say that good can sometimes come from those feelings:
-anger can prompt constructive change-resentment can be overcome-you can learn to pray for other people-jealousy can remind us to keep our mouth closed-and fear can lead us to our HP-
So the negative can become positive, we can see the whole picture, and there is no reason to judge or hate ourselves because we are human beings with feelings.
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For many years I could not tolerate any feelings (mind you positive ones were almost absent). I was afraid to express anger and most of the time I didn't even know when I was angry. I was anxious much of the time and didn't know what that was. I compared myself to others and always fell short. Life was not fun. I have a much better handle on accepting myself with a full-range of feelings now, and I see anger as a normal human emotion. It's the expression of anger and all of our feelings that becomes so important. With practice we can do it in a calm and respectful way!
Thank you Lyne, and Debbie. I too can relate to trying not to have feelings for a long time- mostly for fear that either I would express how angry I really was and there would be terrible consequences, or I would allow myself to be happy and then the other shoe would drop. One of the great lessons that came to me through wise people like Betty was that emotions aren't permanent, it's ok to let them come and go. I don't even have to act on them! Amazing.
Thanks Lyne for service and sharing this great page, and all above for ESH...
Love this page and concept...there is a reason we are feeling strongly, there is a trove of insight that can be had by drilling down to determine where the feeling is coming from and why. Getting down to my underlying motives helps me make spiritual adjustments at the primary source. Feelings are my check engine lights: informative, not to be ignored
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery