The author came to alanon looking for instructions on how to become an adult.  Lessons had come from parents, employers, spouses, children, friends--everybody except a Higher Power and oneself.  The author could stop self-sabotaging if they stopped looking on the outside for something that could only exist within.  Alanon filled in the gaps by offering tools to develop desired traits, and by having members who already had healthy qualities.  Program offered sound guidelines and values for life. 

Quote:  With help we can develop a new sense of living, as we become, one day at a time, the people we want to be.

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For many years I looked to others and admired them.  I was unable to see value in myself.  Everyone else seemed smarter and better able to handle life.  Trying to be an adult, make decisions, and handle things felt impossible.  I found it true though, that by leaning on an HP and listening to members of the fellowship, I could learn to become a responsible, somewhat competent, and much happier grown up.  Better late than never!