The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about learning to respond to feelings and emotions rather than react to them. The writer describes how life felt unmanageable when decisions were being made in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Through program work, talking with sponsor, physical exercise, prayer and meditation, the writer learned to deal with feelings like confusion, anger and fear before making any life decisions. The writer used our question how important is it? before taking action. The writer learned to act rather than react. There is such an important reminder in the sentence that begins the third paragraph and is one that has been helpful to me: getting better doesnt always mean feeling better.
This page got me thinking about how sometimes our instinct is to attempt to move away from any uncomfortable feelings, rather than deal with them. In my case, I might try to internally wrangle with the uncomfortable but not truly deal with the feelings, and eventually react in a way that is all emotion and not very thoughtful. In the last paragraph, there is a sentence about the futility of trying to manipulate situations in order to avoid human emotions. We cant do that, but finding ways to acknowledge our feelings and work with them will propel us forward. The quotation from Courage to Change (p.249) reminds us: The true nature of my problem was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go.
I didn't even recognize that today was an important milestone until my Ex started texting me like crazy. It is good that I am not dwelling on today's date. I came here to get some perspective on my feelings that were brought up by his texts (and subsequent realization of the date), and the Hope For Today post didn't disappoint! Due to Al-Anon, I am able to work through any icky feelings, and can act appropriately to any texts that might trigger me.
Grateful.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks Mary for your service and to everyone for their shares. I love our slogan How Important is It. In any emotionally charged situation or with any person if I stop, take a breath and ask myself How Important is It, that momentary pause helps me to steady my emotions. It allows me to gain more clarity based on facts in the present rather than assumptions and projections based on the past. It is important for me to look to the past but not stare as we sometimes say in the program. It can be looked to as a guidepost for future actions but discernment is still necessary for me. I rather my choices not be made on FEAR false evidence appearing real. Instead, I choose to use recovery tools such as the Serenity Prayer, sponsor and other self care tools when uncomfortable feelings arise through interaction with others, events or other triggers. Detachment has also been very helpful. Detachment sometimes in the form of choosing physical separation from whatever or whomever is troubling can help restore a sense of safety, my sanity and serenity. When I use this self care tool, I have an opportunity to regain emotional, physical and spiritual balance. I can call upon my higher power to help me identify what I am truly feeling and to see things realistically. In these quiet moments with my hp, the truth is often made clear to me and I find guidance as to how to proceed. Within that quiet are typically feelings of acceptance and peace. From this practice, my response now includes patience and compassion for myself and others.
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
