The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks Debbie.
Listening before making assumptions is hard to learn. I catch myself doing it all the time! And as important as it is, I am yet to find an effective tool that sticks for this one. Suggestions welcome!
Side note- I am sorry I have been intermittent with my daily recently folks. There's a lot of sickness in the family and it's been a bit hectic; I have only just now remembered that I was meant to post yesterday.
Thanks Debbie for your service and all above ESH. I appreciate the reminder that there is no time frame in recovery. Thus, there is no pressure. I can't hurry it up anyway, even though I wanted a quick fix years ago. What is also interesting to me is that some pieces of recovery stick in my mind, and they have landed in my tool box for help (think, pause, pray for example). Other concepts are taking me years to practice (thinking my A will eventually want treatment). At times I still hope the light will go on, and I must return to step 1--I am powerless. Have no expectations. Carry a QTip. Happy Saturday MIP.
Great, great page, thanks Deb for your service and all for your shares (Hi YKM, no worries, we'll catch you next time! Hope y'all get well soon )
My 'one thing' to work on currently is patience, so this is a great time to hit this page. This one thing makes a HUGE difference: PAUSE...rare is the time that there is not room for a 10-count before I respond on something I can feel has elicited an emotional response.
A bit embarrassing to admit that I have never actually tried to form this habit. I've heard others speak of it, understand the concept, but honestly thought somehow my own natural restraint would grant me the control to respond appropriately.
The consistency of my failures to do this says otherwise
Patience, listen, give the other person the grace and respect of being able to express their view/feelings, and take time to truly consider it. This also will give me the time to frame a more kind, courteous (6/7 ODAT helped spur this realization and work on patience, great read), considerate response that the other person deserves from me...everyone wins.
Thanks so much all, good stuff!
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery