The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writer says that the fear learned from the experience of alcoholism, in a way became a habit. For example, when confronted, they kept silent. The silence was not a choice but reacting, giving up self-respect out of fear and out of habit.
The writer has learned alternatives: recognize fear, say prayers, turn it over to HP, and learn to respond with love, caring, and respect towards oneself, including those parts that experience fear, confusion, and anger.
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I believe the author is speaking about self-acceptance and self-love, even if we have carried some habits along our journey that are not helpful. I lived in fear for most of my life. First I learned fear in my FOO, and then it was carried along by alcoholic/addicted partners. I've come along way with this program, however of course I still have fear at times. I no longer criticize myself for having human emotions. I acknowledge them, try to reason things out, ask for help, and lean into prayers and HP. I can do this, progress not perfection!