The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about learning to turn over control and will to God/our HP. The writer describes a certain progression of letting go of trying to control all the situations in her life. At first, the writer did not feel any problems of hers would merit Gods time. After some years in alanon, the writer understood the powerlessness over the qualifier in her life, and came to believe in the power greater than herself- but perceived that power as cold and merciless, and that she was not worth the time of her HP. She then began to hand over control of her will to God in small and manageable increments. One day at a time she learned to turn her will and life over to God, paying attention to how good she felt- and committed to turning her life over one day at a time.
The two concepts that resonate with me in this reading are the manageable amounts of time and whatever our own perception of God/HP is for us as individuals. Feeling chaotic and out of control is one of the reasons I came to this program, and tackling any problem or issue has been easier for me when breaking things down into smaller more manageable amounts of time. I think this is one of the reasons making lists is so appealing to me; a reminder that I have small pockets of my day that Im able to take care of (while also acknowledging that I do not have complete control over the situations that are part of my daily life). For me the issue of God of our understanding is intricate because God is beyond our understanding. I think we may try to relate something that is beyond us to what we know, and that is impossible. For me the difference has been going from turning over control as a feeling of anxiety to a feeling of freedom. I can cross things off my daily lists and feel the satisfaction in that at the same time as feeling supported that the bigger picture is beyond my control and handled by God/HP.
The thought for the day is a reminder of how we might manage this concept: I need only turn myself over one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
