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Post Info TOPIC: C2C April 28th- Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.


Veteran Member

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Date:
C2C April 28th- Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.


Today's C2C speaks about the wonderful discovery that many of our perceived defects turn out to be our greatest strengths, or, our best opportunities for growth. It suggests that rather than simply wishing away our defects, we can instead examine them for growth opportunities or hidden strengths.

This has been one of my most profound al-anon discoveries; along the way I have come to realise that many of the traits I hated about myself and wished would disappear were actually assets I was mis-using. Excessive worrying was destructive but beneath that, for example, was a really good ability to prepare for likely difficulties. Being resilient and giving to difficult people made me think I was a doormat when applied to an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, but it turned out to be an asset when applied to parenting a teenager lol! Anyway, I really enjoy the approach of re-framing my defects to see what strengths are hidden within them instead of tossing the baby out with the bathwater. It's a really rewarding exercise that can completely change my frame of mind from negative and self depracating to positive and capable.

Does anyone else see examples of their own defects which turned out to be hidden strengths or growth opportunities?



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Senior Member

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Thank you so much YKM for your service, today's reading and your ESH.

Yes, I can see that sometimes I can be quite a perfectionist, but saw how that was so demanding on the alcoholic in my life

and that minding my own business was necessary, but that perfectionist attitude is what helped me to prepare and make

comfortable my life in the sense that I am less anxious and afraid of the future.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Thanks YKM for your service and above ESH. I tend towards the OCD spectrum (!) and sometimes I can drive myself a little nuts. But there are other times that my attention to detail and being prepared came in very handy, especially during the early days of the pandemic. One thing that repeatedly is a good lesson is for me, is not to be so hard on myself. If I have behaviors that I feel are negative, I can strive to change them.

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Lyne



Veteran Member

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Posts: 40
Date:

Good afternoon.

Yeah, I can see how some of my negative traits are actually good ones in the right situations. The trick I think though is figuring out when they actually would be beneficial and helpful.

Sharing my deepest thought and feelings are perfect for my creative writing. Not so much though in the middle of the night when shared with a sleeping alcoholic (lol)

Have a good day everyone

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bud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2069
Date:

Thank you for your service YKM and thanks to all for the shares!

My quest for perfectionism and details to understand and fix have been positively channeled in my career, where it behooves me (and I'm paid to) to identify and address issues.

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Senior Member

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Posts: 210
Date:

Thanks YKM for your service and everyone for their shares.  I can see growth in being true to myself. In the past, my words and actions were premeditated. I longed for acceptance, belonging and cared more about what others thought of me and less about what I thought of myself. Having worked through issues of abandonment, I find it easier today to work To Thine Own Self Be True and carve out an identity that is related my higher power risk to live fully rather than giving my power away through dependency on others to define my happiness, choices and worth and then when others disappoint; falsely claiming victimization and that I've been acted upon. I'm grateful to take responsibility for myself today and avoid this emotional drama. TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.

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