The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's C2C speaks about the wonderful discovery that many of our perceived defects turn out to be our greatest strengths, or, our best opportunities for growth. It suggests that rather than simply wishing away our defects, we can instead examine them for growth opportunities or hidden strengths.
This has been one of my most profound al-anon discoveries; along the way I have come to realise that many of the traits I hated about myself and wished would disappear were actually assets I was mis-using. Excessive worrying was destructive but beneath that, for example, was a really good ability to prepare for likely difficulties. Being resilient and giving to difficult people made me think I was a doormat when applied to an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, but it turned out to be an asset when applied to parenting a teenager lol! Anyway, I really enjoy the approach of re-framing my defects to see what strengths are hidden within them instead of tossing the baby out with the bathwater. It's a really rewarding exercise that can completely change my frame of mind from negative and self depracating to positive and capable.
Does anyone else see examples of their own defects which turned out to be hidden strengths or growth opportunities?
Thanks YKM for your service and above ESH. I tend towards the OCD spectrum (!) and sometimes I can drive myself a little nuts. But there are other times that my attention to detail and being prepared came in very handy, especially during the early days of the pandemic. One thing that repeatedly is a good lesson is for me, is not to be so hard on myself. If I have behaviors that I feel are negative, I can strive to change them.
Yeah, I can see how some of my negative traits are actually good ones in the right situations. The trick I think though is figuring out when they actually would be beneficial and helpful.
Sharing my deepest thought and feelings are perfect for my creative writing. Not so much though in the middle of the night when shared with a sleeping alcoholic (lol)
Thank you for your service YKM and thanks to all for the shares!
My quest for perfectionism and details to understand and fix have been positively channeled in my career, where it behooves me (and I'm paid to) to identify and address issues.
