Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: C2C, Monday, 4/18, we get back what we give

~*Service Worker*~

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C2C, Monday, 4/18, we get back what we give

The writer shares they spent a lot of time yearning for things they weren't getting from the alcoholic.  They made a list:  courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication--they had been let down many times.  Their sponsor's suggestion was to give what they wanted to receive, and become what they wanted to attract.  They learned to take an active role in fulfilling their own needs, and were able to feel better about themself.  Others responded to the positive changes.


One of the very important lessons I have learned in alanon, is to stop depending on others when I can depend on myself.  Will I need help to move a large piece of furniture?  Of course yes.  But how I feel, what I want to accomplish, and what activities to choose--I decide these things now.  And what a huge relief.  I have become the dependable person I needed.



Senior Member

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Posts: 476

Thanks to you Lyne for your service today it is so appreciated!!

I have just been reading a passage in the C2C about this subject and it really did give me pause for thought!

It said that how one is feeling/thinking/dwelling on how the alcoholic in their life treats them can be considered

just as bad as the treatment they are receiving. I guess that hit home for me, to resent how someone is treating

me on a continual basis is very unproductive and only perpetuates the issue for me. I will, going forward, be a

bit more mindful of my negative thoughts and wishes. You are right depending on myself is what I need.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


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