The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday evening I stood in front of 20 people in my class and gave a presentation on Helen Keller. My biggest fear is public speaking.I do it anyway. I signed up to go first, so I wouldn't spend time feeling anxious while listening to others. I'm not sure if that was a wise decision. As I started to read my speech, the anxiety welled up in me. I tried to push it away, but it was there, like a freight train coming right at me. I could hardly look up at the class. I trembled. As I kept reading it, I started to feel some calm come over me and I made a strong finish.
After it was over I received the evaluations from my peers, (1-5 scale) It wasn't what I would have liked, and it just reinforced to me what a terrible public speaker i am. What really bothers me is that I put in so much time and effort to prepare for this and i feel like i flopped. I also spent the rest of the classtime listening and comparing myself to the others...compare and despair!
I hear my friend's voice saying "baby steps christine, you didn't learn to walk in one day"
I'm going to try to look at the positive in this, I got up there and walked thru the fear.
"Character can not be developed in ease and quiet, only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller
Public speaking is a huge fear for me too. I would give you a high evaluation just for the courage it took to get up there and do it! Be kind to yourself, facing your fear is an amazing thing you don't have to perfect at it immediately too.
It takes practice...... Rome wasnt built in a day and all that stuff!!! The thing is you had the courage to take the class, and you volunteered to go first! Wow!!! Now that is courage!!!!
Faith fear of public speaking is a common one, but not one that cannot get overcome. I applaud you in going first. Way to step up and say I can do this. I am sue that you are your own worst critic. You speak to all of us very well and come across very confident.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
It'll get better, easier as you go. I started out much the same as you (shakes and all!) in public speaking, but by the time the class was over, the initial shaking took up much less of the speech time, and by the next year I even signed up for debate!
Good luck to you, and I think it's terrific you had the courage to take the class and to sign up to be first! Very courageous.
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Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye and deny it. ~Garrison Keillor
Hmmm.. Public speaking. Better you then me!!!! How's that for chicken?...lol I recall the few times I had to do it. My voice shook and I had no idea what I had just read/said when it was over.
I'm not sure if I have that fear anymore as I can be rather chatty in my f2f meetings, but that feels like "amongst friends" and no one is grading me.
Definately give yourself a pat on the back for doing it at all.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
When most people do an eval. for some reason they focus on the negative. does not mean anything. You don't have to agree with them.
One of my eval said I used to many strange words... mine was about a pig of course, said rotund and stuff like that. haha
Hey girl, You walked up there, you did your thing, you did great research, and you walked back and sat down!!! I am proud of you. Be proud of you and don't let the turkeys getcha down.
The biggest fear is getting up in front of people uno. When my kids were little they had pets. So they would do show and tell a lot. Now they are very secure and not afraid to talk in front of anyone. lol We usually don't get taught how to do that. I wish my mom would have helped me with that but she was terribly shy.
Please, you are being so hard on yourself. For some people just getting up in the morn is hard work, and they can pat themselves on the back for doing so. Life is so hard.
GREAT JOB doing the speech! I was in a seminar recently and we learned that public speaking turned up as the number one fear on a survey about what people feared. It ranked above death and dogs and insects and heights and getting sick. I thought that was strange.
I recently had to give a presentation to some directors in Michigan. there was an audience of 30 people. I spent quite a bit of time before i travlleed trying to scheme my way out of it. When I spoke at the alanon conference in Mass my knees shook and my voice quvered. Then I gave up my schemes. I stood in front of the hotel mirror and gave my presentation over and over and over again.
I nailed it. But is sure was hard.
Good for you to do the presentation, it will get easier in time.
Helen Keller is a great subject.
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
The most important thing is that you faced your fear - and conquered it! Voice quivering, knees shaking, loosing your place, feeling lightheaded I have been there quite a few times so I understand what you were going through. You did great - good job going first. Proud of you!
My hat is off to you. What is it that they say ... Courage is Fear that has done its homework ... and that describes you to a tea!
And to go first ... wow ... that is huge! You thought of everything in advance to get you through the presentation ... wow, in my book you should be patting yourself on the back!
One of the great things about Al Anon is that we are constantly reminded that what other people think is none of my business -- it's their business, not mine -- and I truly think that relates to those evaluations. This reminds me when I was in grad school and there were courses that were largely based on calculus level math skills ... now I had lots of classmates who considered calculus lower level math ... for me, I hadn't taken/used any math for years. There were other courses I could've aced easily ... but I was there to learn, not just to ace a class. The math wizzes were whizzing through the reading material and other assignments ... it was taking me hours/days, cause I was trying to strengthen an academic weakness -- it was harder for me. They weren't necessarily smarter than I was ... but they sure knew more math and it was making those particular courses easier for them. It would have been totally inappropriate for me to compare myself to all of those math wizards ... I needed to focus on where I was when I entered that academic program and what I could do to maximize the amount I could learn --> that was my goal.
Only you know what you've truly accomplished ... but based on what you've shared with us, I think you did great ( ... but remember, what I think is none of your business, just like what your peers think....) Take care, and congrats.
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, it really means a lot to me.
I had spent some time fretting about my performance and what a lot of it came down to was the "people pleasing" qualities in me. I was seeking approval from my classmates and teacher, instead of myself and my HP.
I know my HP is proud of me for the work I've done...even tho it was not perfect, it was better than I could have done years ago. This is the first graduate course I've taken, and I've been out of school for almost ten years. Also, a majority of my classmates have been teachers for some time and have a level of experience that I do not posess.
Funny thought just came to me, I've never chaired a f2f, for the fear of it, I'm now considering it and the thought of it doesn't scare me as much anymore. wow, amazing stuff!
