The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how there are times we may use busyness (obsessive activity) as a way to self medicate and isolate, in the same way that alcoholics use the buzz of alcohol. The writer describes not necessarily being a workaholic, but at times a learn-aholic and achieve-aholic. With this frenetic buzz, there is no focus on relationship with HP, others or self. The writer was reminded through an Al-anon friend that who I am, not what I do, makes me worthwhile. The writer realized that keeping the quiet, inward, thoughtful parts of self on track helped to make the active parts of life more a reflection of a healthier self rather than running from that self.
I remember having a realization that I must be getting healthier when I did not feel the need to make a list of all the chores/activities/work/practice I should do when my kids were out of the house. Even though I consider myself an introvert and dont mind being alone at all, when I first came here I definitely did not want to spend any idle time with my anxious mind. I am still a list maker- it does help to calm me, but I am working on being able to be still at times as well. There is a lovely sentence at the end of todays reading that describes this: Today I can quiet myself to listen for Gods whispers and hear my hearts own spontaneous response.
Thank you both. I am just recently starting to realise how much I have used study and work to avoid dealing with myself. It troubles me that I find being still and not constantly problem-solving in my mind so difficult. I know I can manage it if I take myself somewhere beautiful, like a beach or into the hills but I feel as though this is something I need to be able to do without going to a special venue!
I have a pretty easy week this week with lots of spare time so I will try to make daily time to just be.
I watched a great talk on developing listening skills recently that intrigued me; it talked about starting by listening to ambient noise. Spending time just focusing on what I can hear as I sit or go for a walk feels like it might be a good start. I'll schedule time to do that for tomorrow, haha.
