The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Hope for Today takes a look at Al-Anon's beloved three C's about our powerlessness over alcoholism -- I didn't Cause It, I can't Control it, and I can't Cure it.
To the author of this reading, embracing this slogan relieves them of the guilty feeling that they could have done more to change the alcoholics in their family. It gives permission to take care of ourselves and not spend energy trying to manipulate others. It's a reminder not to persist in repeating insane behavior aimed at getting someone else to stop drinking.
Thought for the day: When I get confused about what being powerless over alcohol really means, the three C's give me a clarifying touchstone.
Quote from Courage to Change, page 74: "Active alcoholics are people who drink. They don't drink because of you or me, but because they are alcoholics. No matter what I do, I will not change this fact."
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When I first heard the three C's, they really helped me. It was such a new way of thinking, and I remember walking around the house saying them silently in my mind.
Shortly after learning them, I was faced with a situation where, at a family gathering, my alcoholic husband who was just out of the hospital and under doctor's orders not to drink, announced he was going to have two glasses of wine. My mind went almost blank in that moment, but somehow out of my mouth and under my breath, came the words "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." And I walked out of the room and took a dog for a walk. It was still a very tough day, but I believe that slogan saved me from going completely insane.
Some say there is a fourth C -- I can Contribute to it, meaning enabling. I don't like that so much, because it feels blaming, but my own fourth C is "I can Change myself."
Good Morning Freetime. Thank you for your service/ESH. I was completely exhausted and hopeless by the time I found MIP. My nerves/memory were shot. The 3 C's were simple to absorb and led me to slowly embrace my powerlessness. They changed my mindset and eased me into the steps/slogans/readings that emphasized letting go of MY ideas. I am grateful for the simplicity of the AlAnon program which solves/dissolves problems better than my genius ideas (lol). Have a day filled with miracles.
Happy Friday MIP! Thank you Freetime for the daily and your service. I also found some relief when I heard the three C's explained in a meeting. I honestly had never considered what was in/out of my control - I just woke each day ready to (unsuccessfully) battle the disease and the diseased.
For me, once I surrendered, there were many slogans and suggestions that felt really simple in concept yet profound and extremely helpful. I still go back to my starts at times as it helps when my mind is racing and I'm considering trying to control/change someone or something (again).
As with most tools in Al-Anon, I can deploy for other 'life events' too. I willingly do so today and truly have deep gratitude for this program and those willing to show me there is another way! Enjoy the weekend all - choose joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love the 3 C's! Thanks FT for your service and for all above ESH. To me the 3 C's are a perfect summary of how I need to view alcoholism. I did not cause it. I cannot control it, and I sure as heck can't cure it. Lord knows I tried LOL.
Grateful, as always to Al-Anon/MIP.