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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> C2C, Monday 12/27: Differing opinions? Carry your QTIP!
Post Info TOPIC: C2C, Monday 12/27: Differing opinions? Carry your QTIP!
Lyne


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C2C, Monday 12/27: Differing opinions? Carry your QTIP!
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The writer ponders the issue of facing different opinions, and what to do at that point:  take a stance that one is right and one is wrong, defend oneself, take the disagreement personally, or be grateful that there are numerous ways of looking at life.  The writer goes on to say if we can practice gratitude, an abundance of wisdom is at our fingertips if we can keep an open mind.  You dont have to spend all day convincing others when you can believe in yourself and let others do the same.

Reminder:  I dont have to invalidate anyone elses views in order to validate my own.  Its all right to disagree.  Today I will respect someones right to think differently.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I think for many many years, my self esteem was so poor that I was practically crushed when people disagreed with me.  The difference of opinion was very hard for me to tolerate, and I often reverted to telling myself I was stupid.  Certainly over the years I made some headway, but the tools in this program allow me to be me, and others to be themselves.  I rarely try to convince anyone that I am right.  I give myself permission to carry my opinion and try to hear what others are saying and consider it.  I feel like I have become free in a sense, from the critical messages that kept me in shame and embarrassment.  Grateful member. 



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Lyne
DM2021


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Thank you Lyne!! Just love this reading and thank you for your service!

Especially in this time period when there are such dividing lines in this country, how

utterly difficult it can be between friends/family/coworkers to keep and share our

opinions without "invalidating" each other. I am so grateful to Al-Anon that I am

able to see that I do not have to agree to keep the peace, but agree to disagree

and walk away without having to feel right or righteous.


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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

 
PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you Lyne for your service!

I have always loved the line... "Well, then we can agree to disagree!"

I hope everyone enjoys their Monday.



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Daffodils


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Thank you Lyne for your service and shares DM2021/PNP. Your messages touched me. As the day progressed, a song that was popular when I was a kid came to mind. The lyrics "So let's leave it alone; 'cause we can't see eye to eye. There ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy. There's just you and me and we just disagree. "... (Dave Mason). Music is a favourite way to centre myself...Thanks for the topic...I spent my afternoon listening to oldies while processing lessons from MIP. Have a peaceful night. :)

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Iamhere


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That's an awesome song Daffodils!! The words mean so much more to me today that they did back then - ha.

Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. When I first began my Al-Anon journey, my sponsor suggested that I carry a Q-Tip in my pocket to remind myself that it's not all about me, people/life is not only happening to me and that it's a bit insane to take all things personally. I was offended to say the least and was one who thought if my boys loved me, they'd change for me. I've learned a ton and know now that we all change daily and practicing acceptance of what is instead of pining for what's not is contrary to healthy living.

In these current times of extreme discord and division, I readily admit that some opinions of others do NOT compute in my mind. What's changed is I no longer have a desire or need to change others to align with me. I am way better at living and letting others live as they choose than before.

I am very grateful for the many tools of recovery that have helped me realize that there is more than black/white, right/wrong, good/bad in life and love. Just being open to using my tools daily helps me not just get by but to actually be at peace and filled with joy even in trying times.

Love and light all...just FYI - when I'm left/right of center, I still will grab a Q-Tip and carry it for the day/days. It's a great reminder!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> C2C, Monday 12/27: Differing opinions? Carry your QTIP!