The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a look at how our perception of things can be distorted and make it difficult for us to see and appreciate our spiritual gifts. The writer describes a situation as a young parent when she took the time to pick out what she believed were the exact type of carrots her children would like at the store. She based this preference on what she liked. Over time her son observed this and one day asked why she only chose the scrawny carrots to buy. The writer then understood that while she was doing what she thought was best, her son became resentful because he wanted something else. This situation came back to her when at an alanon meeting it dawned on her that she might be resenting scenarios in her own life that were carefully chosen for her by God. Was she seeing challenge and loss as some kind of scrawny carrot offering, when in actuality those challenges and losses might be in her path as a chance to grow spiritually? She was able to put things that had felt like obstacles into a new perspective for herself.
One of the greatest lessons I have been working on since coming to alanon is understanding that I do not have any control over other people and their behavior. In fact there are many situations that I also have no control over. What I am left with is what part (of mine) I am able to control. Looking at: situations, people/behavior of others, any scenario that I might previously try to exert control over, as a chance to let go and understand that I can only control my own part in itis a gift. I can see it through the lens of opportunity to practice letting go and all of a sudden, a situation that might have made me anxious or upset in the past is something I can take in better stride and understanding. I can see things with a clearer and less distorted perception.
The quotation from Courage to Change (p.243) reminds us: I am constantly making choices about how I perceive my world. With the help of Al-Anon and my friends in the fellowship, I can make those choices more consciously and more actively than ever before.
Thank you Mary for your service! I agree. Al-Anon has helped me to at things in a less distorted manner, concentrating on my behavior only. This has been invaluable these last two years just in general life!!
I appreciate the reminder!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Mary, PNP and DM2021. Your shares help in accelerating my growth. I had a good chuckle today. I asked my husband what he'd like for Christmas dinner-turkey, ham or roast beef and he hollered back "Chinese food!" and I said OK. What a change in me! Didn't even sweat that it's not "traditional " and love that it's no work for me. What a difference Alanon/MIP has made. I am creating and accepting new ways of doing things, growing and having fun in the process. I notice these small changes spill over to other critical areas in my life. Plenty of work ahead but having a blast along the way...one step at a time. Have a great day.
