The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i wanted to update everyone on how im doing. i havnt been on here much as i have been really spending time enjoying each day, getting out there with loved ones, enjoying my job and everything. i wanted to share to everyone the progress i've made and how this program has helped me. my situation with my a has definatly changed. i let go of him for about three months with the support of this program. he found his way into treatment and is now 34 days sober. he is home with me and we are more in love then ever before. without this program, it would be this way. it is a struggle when he goes through his hard days but i have learned to keep my nose out of his business. to focus on me. i feel serene and happy. i have handed all of my insecurities and mistrust, resentments over to my hp who i choose to call god. i have asked him for help to allow me to forgive. and i have. i dont hate my a. i dont start chaos in my home anymore. if he is looking for it or a reaction i can stay calm and manage my anger. of course this is hard but life is so much easier if i just let go of the what if's. that was the cause of all my misery, i was becoming ill because i couldnt let go of the past. in time the program showed me how. the other day my a was having an extremly hard time and was pushing my buttons in the ways he knows how. i raised my voice once then stopped myself immediatly. he said he needed to leave for a bit. in the past there is no way i would have let this happen. i would have screamed and held him down, hid his keys, hit him anything to try to make him stay home so he wouldnt use. of course this never worked. now the other day when this occured i turned on a movie i wanted to watch and said ok i will see you later. the time he was gone i relaxed and let go of the things he said to aggravate me. i was in no way stressed over his absence. about 45 minutes later he walked back through the door. still sober. we both apologized and talked about our previous arguement. we both took responsiblility immediatly for our own parts. and had a wonderful day together. i was able to let him walk out that door and not make myself sick. i knew whatever he chose to do when he left was his choice. it was all in my hp's hands and his hp's hands. i believe whatever hp hands me in life is for a reason. i have put all my trust in him and faith that there is a plan for me and no matter what happens today tomorrow things will turn out for me. right now, in the present things are turning out for me. i am happy in the moment. i am happy right now. if i have a hard day i know i can start over the next day. i am taken care of. this program works, so go work it......
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
Beautiful! I am new here, so we may not have chatted, but I am glad you were here today. What you say is familiar to me. I am getting better, even not having been with the progrsm for long. It is a whole new way to look at things, and it is helping me to feel more calm, and accepting of what life, and my A throws at me. Things are getting better between me and my A too. He respects what I am doing for myself, and is seeing a positive change in me. We are still sperated, but we talk often, and we TALK instead of fight. It is such a difference, and I never would have gotten this far out of the hole without my F2F group and this forum. Thank you all!
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I am so glad your life has turned that corner. I hope to get there one day myself.... Progress not perfection...
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
It is awesome to see the work that HP does for us when we open ourselves up to it. Your post helped remind me of the resolve I have with my anger and resentment towards my "A". Its awesome you are handling his sobriety in such a calm way. Staying focused on your recovery and your path will help through the bumpy times. I also struggle with containing myself when my "a" pushes my buttons, but then a small voice inside me says keep this calm, you know he wants a fight don't give in. Good Luck to both of you.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
That is great thanks for sharing. I too have been making progress in communications with my A. We have been talking more daily. I have told him about all the things I have found out about myself and the struggles I have had in my own recovery. He has been extremely supportive of me doing this since he was made aware I had started. I have so much to learn but am looking forward to the journey of discovery. Funny that this topic came up because he and I were talking about this yesterday. I was sharing this with him, because I am learning this. I can't change the things I have done in the past. Just like you can't change them or the things they have done. What is done is done. All I can do is with the guidence of my HP live today for today and look at tomorrow as a bright new day and learn from each day.
I am also new...Thanks for your post....
One day at a time
Angeleyes
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I believe in my HP to show me the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am new to this program and will be attending my second Al Anon meeting tomorrow eve.
I am encouraged to hear that your A is improving.
My A is a caring wonderful man who I love completely the good and the bad, but he is an A. And an A is a liar, unpredictable, unreliable and never fails to break my heart and let me down.
I cannot believe as smart as I am I am choosing the life of loving an A. But, then again, I just spent a decade loving him, not even knowing where he was in the world, and asked God in the most sincere prayer I have ever prayed to bring him back into my life, and well, He did. Now I depend on faith and prayer AND my friends and this group, that I found just a few days ago, to support me and listen to me and advise me.
Your A sounds like, and please dont take what I say to seriously, I dont even know what I am doing yet, he sounds like he wants to change, that has to feel so wonderful.
I hope you will continue to post so I can see the disappointments and the accomplishments you make in yourself and with your A.
