The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading warns us not to take anyone's inventory but our own. Though we may feel our troubles are caused by the alcoholic and we want to justify our actions and deny fault, we should take a closer look at how we handle things. We may see that we could have reacted differently, and may, in fact, have brought on troubles through our interference. We should only ever take our own moral inventory.
TODAY'S REMINDER: Do I habitually criticize others? Live and let live, let go and let God, THINK, and put first things first.
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Yikes! RULE NUMBER ONE (for me): Don't take my Alcoholic's inventory. When I make up a story about what he did, why he did it, and what he thought would be the result, I invariably get it wrong and make it ALL ABOUT ME. I often find myself shouting at him, telling him what his intentions were. It is a losing battle. No matter how well I think I know him, I cannot be him!
Because I think I know what is right, I find myself constantly telling him (or thinking hard in his direction), that he is wrong!
How much pain could I bypass if I stayed on my side of the street, and studied my actions, thoughts, and feelings? The thing I find hardest at this point in my journey is to stop my critical thoughts long enough to turn the tables and inventory myself.
Funny that this reading is so full of slogans...like, take the full artillery of Al-Anon, and use it to put on the brakes...just STOP! I really should wallpaper my room with those wise words!
Bbrave, thanks for your service and wonderful ESH. This lesson is for me too, and it's only with time and practice that I get better at minding my own business. I've also learned that I can think whatever I want, I may think I know what's best for my A, and often I may be right, but besides for making an occasional suggestion, I try to leave things alone. I know the traits of an alcoholic. I know life is unpredictable. I know our trust has probably been damaged for life, but I'm choosing to stay for a number of reasons. Therefore, I need to practice acceptance in many areas. I need to carry my QTIP (quit taking it personally), and keep expectations low. And also extremely important, progress not perfection. :)
Bbrave, thank you for sharing this page. I too find the slogans a life-saver that keep me on an even keel -- and I actually have some slogans displayed in my home -- One Day at a Time and (unofficial slogan) Don't Quit Before the Miracle Happens. So I say, if you want to put the slogans on your walls -- go for it!
