Today's reading tells a story of a couple of ducks who are separated from others by a patch of ice on a frozen lake and their struggle to join others. The larger group of ducks had busily swam and reached a large open area of water. One of the two isolated ducks tried to scramble over the patch of ice that separated them from the larger group of ducks. It broke under their weight. The duck had forgotten that it could simply fly over the patch of ice to join the others.

The reading states, "What constitutes the wings that I have forgotten?" It goes on to remind the reader that we have a variety of Alanon tools to help us.

Thought for the Day                                                                                                                                                                                                           In Alanon, I have the opportunity to mend my "wings" or even fashion a new pair. "The program shows me that I have choices. I could stay the way I was or I could change."

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This is a good reminder for me that no matter what is happening in my life, I need to remember to turn to my Alanon tools daily for help. I started a new job this week and the process from beginning until today has been a bit stressful. My first day was advanced to a later date and the supervisor for whom I am now working had to do the work that I am hired to do. Now on the job, I am finding they have expectations beyond reasonable. Their attitude toward my performance changes from day to day. I'm trying to roll with this as it's not a permanent job. I'm showing willingness, engagement, accuracy and follow up. I have experience with this work and know what a reasonable volume of work looks like. In my two most reason assignments, I exceeded the expectations of my supervisors. In fact, I was considered a top performer. With that said, I was offered tools for the job that promoted success. This is not the case in this role. With that said, this supervisor is acting as if I have been offered such tools and am slow in producing. I am trying very hard to be accommodating. I know when he tells me "Oh you do it this way and I do it this way," that the difference in how I work is not the cause of not enough work getting done. But OK, unlike the duck who scrambles time and again over slippery ice, I am adopting his way of working and keeping a smile on my face. I don't want the ice to break under my weight. In other words, I can change an effect way of working to his way if that is what he requires. I want to keep the job. I need the job. I will however keep considering some possibilities for working smarter and offer them gently to him never letting him forget that I know he is the boss. He told me when interviewing that the job has been opened and he is having trouble filling it. He said if I did a good job and was interested I could be the one to fill the job. The company has many openings right now so no doubt he has plenty to do in his own role. With that said, I can only help as much and as quickly as is humanly possible and let go of the outcome. "I didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it."

I do need to regain my serenity, my balance. I am dealing with a stressed person who is imposing that stress on me. This means self care is more important than ever. I have been comforting myself with junk food and am awakened at a very early hour with thoughts of the job, life on life's terms and feelings of powerlessness. Obsessive worry compromises my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Where did I leave my wings? If I don't know, surely my hp can lift me and carry me to a safe place. I can pray for guidance. I'm so grateful to believe in a loving higher power. I'm comforted to that whatever the outcome, I'm not alone. I can only do the best I can and let go of the results. My hp is always there through spiritual awakenings to help me lift myself up. It's easier to let go and let god knowing I'm in the care of a loving hp and will continue to be placed where I can be of best service to my hp. TT