The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank You Paul for your sharing, I always look at God's Timing, and it is once again "spot on" for me. As I was only thinking to myself the other day, after I was talking to my God, with my Prayer List,[ which is becoming longer and longer], especially the my Family members, and the other people who I care about, also the other prayers the I say each Morning, am I just repeating them over and over, and not really taking them on board and applying them. As that is the way I feel sometimes. But I know that feelings are not facts.
So afterwards, I had a look at myself and how I am going through my life, and with issues that are concerning me. For me I need to see some changes, and how much Serenity that I do have. I have one ongoing concern today, with one of my Daughters, that is struggling with Brain Cancer. The painful part for me is that I have been shut out of her life, and am not allowed to know anything. When I found out about it, I did send her a note to say that I was here for her, and that I loved her. Also to my son, who has also shut me out of his life, but I know he is watching his sister go through this.
That for me, is where the Serenity Prayer comes into my life, for I know that there is nothing I can change with the situation. I have let go and Let God, and I know that I have let go by the degree of Peace that I do have. Yes, I do have my bad days, and moments, of the what if's, etc, as I love them both, and want to be a Mother, and hold their hands and give them hugs, but I can't. Yes, it does feel strange, not being/ feeling as if I am going to lose it, and be an emotional mess, as if I am not being "Normal". But I can't have it both ways, Praying and Trusting, Letting Go, and then taking it all back. I am truly living One Day At A Time.
So on the weekends, when I talk to my God, I hand over my Prayer list to Him, so I can have a rest, also, when I feel that I am starting to Carry and Care at the same time. I do know God is in my life, and that the Program works, and that I doing okay.
Hi Tired tonight, thank you for your lovely words, and for your sending positive thoughts for my Family. What has helped me through this is, all the work and knowledge that I have gotten over the many years that I have been working my program. I can totally understand the dynamics of the Family Affected by Alcoholism, not that I like it as I don't. As I can/have seen the damage it has done to all of us.
I read once that after understanding, comes forgiveness,so that has helped me greatly as well. When I understood about Adult Children of Alcoholics, I understood and could have compassion for my Adult Children. Not that it was easy as it wasn't, as they saw me as the bad guy, and still do. I feel sad about that, as they can't accept me for who I have become. When my will comes to play and I 'Want' to do things, I remember, who and what I am dealing with, so I pull my head in and give the situation to God, and get out of the road. I know that I am in for the long road with my Daughter and Son, but I know that I am not alone, and after listening to others in recovery, I know that I am not the only one who is walking this path. It is very common, not that I like to hear about others journey's, I don't wish it on any one, as I know how painful it is, but it helps me when it hurts.
