The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today we are asked to consider the validity of the points we get stuck on. If others are not responding the way we expect, perhaps we need to adjust our own thinking, or perhaps our sense of timing. We are asked to consider others' right to a different point of view.
TODAY'S REMINDER: An open mind is a handy thing to have when once I become willing to Live and Let Live.
"Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living."
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Oh, yeah.... Guilty as charged!
I consider myself to be a humble person, but boy, when I'm right, I am just RIGHT! I do this all the time to my qualifier. When I give instructions, for instance...I over instruct. He balks at my step-by-steppedness, and wants to do things his way. Mostly, I am miffed when he manages to accomplish tasks in a different manner or sequence, but occasionally I can step back a bit from my pride and admit that there are different ways to meet the same goal. When things go wrong with his bungled attempts, I try not to say, "I told you so," but I feel great (I was RIGHT)!
I am also guilty of doing his thinking for him. He might tell me what he was thinking or expecting when he did something I felt was wrong, and I will tell him, "No, you were thinking about how you could annoy/hurt/degrade/embarrass me!" I have a hard time considering that his point of view and his actions are not predicated on me and how I might feel in the aftermath.
When he is adamant about something and I am stuck in an opposing view, I occasionally blame his disease. There are all kinds of ways this is wrong, but it helps me dig in.
Hmmm...not sure how I manage to think I might be humble when I read this.
I know I should Live and Let Live. I must shift my thinking to making that a generous act rather than just wringing my hands. Somewhere in our literature there is a line about loving the people in our lives enough to let them make their own mistakes. I am sure it should be done by generously considering their point of view. Also...I could be wrong!!!
Good Day Bbrave and DM2021. Miffed? I've got a few choice words that are less polite to describe how I am feeling right now. The Live and Let Live I've been practicing has resulted
in a "situation ". Two months ago, my AH'S pharmacist reminded him a follow-up was required by his psychiatrist to keep his meds current. I refrained from nagging about booking an appointment. He is now panicked because he has 4 days meds left, and when his doctor is away...hmm...Then we got word his Mom is back in hospital (long story). This news further exacerbates his mental health. The meds are critical in maintaining his mental well-being. I used to insert myself but decided to risk not interfering with outcomes...and I am on edge (won't bore you with the history). So, I am PRAYING for the strength to not take the wheel and not be smug and not be angry or the like...whew...thanks for listening. I will stay in the moment and trust HP....note to self: Live/Love and Let Live. Have a good day all.
