The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
With a changed attitude (concern, love, and kindness for others), I can expect the circumstances of my life to change for the better. If I expect good, it will surely come in some form for me. And, if I offer others a "tolerant uncritical awareness" and focus my viewpoint on a sound spiritual basis, my personality will also be changed for the better.
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you."
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Yes! This works. I know it does, but. . .
These sentiments also command that I love my enemies! I wrote to another member of Al-Anon, describing a predicament I was in created by my qualifier. She told me to pray for him. . .whaaaat?! I wanted to throw stones, bring down the roof, bludgeon him, anything but PRAY for him!
I am still not there, but am at least willing to admit that his HP loves him as much as my HP loves me. In fact, I can allow the whole world to love him. My challenge is to offer him a tolerant, uncritical awareness, hoping that in small steps, my attitude will change. Is this a prayer? Or is it a step toward my being open to praying for him?
My sponsor reminds me that if I cannot just say, YES, then I should be willing, to be willing, to be willing. What can I say? My steps in program are very small indeed, but I think I may be moving ever so slightly forward. And I am seeing positive changes in my life!
Thank you Bbrave for your service/ESH. I've been in that place more times than I care to count. My sponsor suggested I pray for the willingness even if I don't mean it. At times it's just bless them, change me...that usually opens my heart even if my mind is still closed. Also, I find tolerate conjures up negative feelings-like I have put up with something/someone I don't like. I shoot for acceptance-it makes it easier for me to let go and let live and brings me back to me. I agree with DM2021-easier said than done. I notice that I waste less energy resisting and get from my head to heart quicker than before...in some instances I shave off a nanosecond (LOL). On the whole, the most important is that even if I still lack compassion or struggle with being kind, I am able to be courteous...whether I want to be or not... Wow...this post made me dig deep...have a pleasant day.
Thank you for your service Bbrave and all above ESH. TOLERANT, UNCRITICAL, AWARENESS: Couldn't that make the world a much better place? I do strive for that with my A and everybody else. Am I able to do it 100%? Heck no! But it makes sense...and it's worth trying...and having as a goal. So I will try.
Thank you Bbrave for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for the shares & ESH. I do believe that when I am spiritually fit, it is much easier to live and let live. I absolutely do pray for those I love as well as those I love from a distance every day. It's got nothing to do with them; it's about releasing me from the bondage of self. I am not entirely certain how it works yet when I pray for those I resent, it lowers my resentment. Not immediately, not in a specific time frame - just when I am actually ready to let go.
In truth, especially with so much division in our country, there are some folks I encounter every day that I could easily just smack. Of course I don't, yet that thought enters my mind simply because that's my nature - a passionate gal with a proverbial 'right-fighting mind'. When I am spiritually centered or fit, I can just smile and let them be. When I am not, I truly have to pause to pray before I proceed.
With all that's going on with my mom right now, I've had to be extra cautious about taking things personally. I am saved each day by this program and what's suggested we practice. I am and remain grateful for the people, the tools, etc. I have simply by being willing to be willing to change.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
