The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author speaks to how important it can be for an Al-Anon group to use a group conscience to address challenges they may be facing. The author shares that their home group had gotten into a rut. They hadn't had new members in a very long time, and seemed to cycle through the same readings and topics. Following their group conscience, they decided to try using different Al-Anon literature and engaging in speaker exchanges with other Al-Anon groups. Before long, their group size grew. Their membership trippled within one year, and they had so many newcomers, they started a special newcomer series.
Because of their willingness to take an inventory as a group, the author shares that they each benefitted personally.
Today's Reminder: Each group, like each individual, goes through changes. But we dont have to face those changes alone. The Second Tradition reminds us that a loving God expresses himself through our group conscience. When each of us is willing to grow, we all benefit.
Today's Quote: There is a comfortable feeling in knowing that guidance for the group comes not through individuals, but from the willingness of the group to follow whatever wisdom may be expressed through the membership. Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism
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This is such a perfect reading for me! I've been thinking about whether it might be time to reach out to my home group members about restarting our meetings (which we cancelled due to the pandemic). One of the things we struggled with was low membership. Most days, there were only 3-4 of us present, and I did feel as though I knew what everyone was going to say, as we cycled through the same readings each year. I haven't come to a decision about this yet, but today's reading gives me good perspective for my thinking around this topic. And, it brings as well a good reminder that the responsibility is not only on my shoulders, there are other members who can join together with me in discussion of this decision.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning, Skorpi, and thank you for this topic. I can relate. I have experienced the power and powerlessness of groups -- and have learned so much.
My first Al-Anon group, which I was so devoted to, eventually got smaller and smaller until I was the only one doing regular service. We (or rather I) tried various suggestions such as getting outside speakers and making announcements at district meetings, but one thing we did not do was have a formal group conscience. I was so new in Al-Anon that it didn't occur to me. I tried to save the meeting all by myself, although some individuals helped from time to time. I did make a lasting friendship with someone who came along to help out in the final weeks -- but the meeting had reached the end of its life and I had to close it. I learned a tremendous amount about service and about letting go.
Now I am part of a larger meeting that has regular business meetings and enough people that really participate and know how to have a group conscience. I learned, big-time, not to try to fix or rescue all by myself. I have learned to trust the group, and that things will work out as they are meant to -- and it might not be according to my ideas, and at times it might look hopeless, but it is not hopeless. The group has a higher power and it isn't me.
Not facing these issues alone, and that it is OK to let natural consequences take place, has been a huge learning experience for me. I learned in swimming class at summer camp not to go into the water alone, to always have a buddy, and to regularly check in with my buddy -- and it is the same with Al-Anon, it works out better with buddies, and I might have to reach out for them.
Skorpi, I wish all the best to your Al-Anon group.
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. When I think about group inventory and group consensus, I consider how it can also be brought to normal lives, especially for one like me who desires to 'control' - from a place of passion and concern. I belonged to a group that I loved deeply. It ended up folding because members perceived that one/two were controlling all things and weren't open to change or input from others. It truly was a shame as it had a lovely membership when it folded.
The program, with all components, works well when we work it. It is when we try to impose our personal will/wants or ego that the program or groups struggle. We are human so it is bound to happen. The best part about recovery is there is always a solution in the toolbox if we are willing to seek and use.
My mother's confusion continues. She's getting more and more withdrawn day by day. We are not quite sure why and probably won't ever truly know. I am preparing to travel next weekend and will be around 'less' than now/usual. I appreciate all the prayers, thoughts and support. It is my hope that I can be of service in getting both of my parents to their 'new normal'. We are beginning those conversations now and it's tough. They've been together 65 years, share all things - email address, phone calls, etc.
I continue to be grateful for this program, my recovery, those who support me unconditionally and my HP. My friend in Hospice is declining and loopy most of the time now. We don't know when her time will come; more will be revealed...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Skorpi for your service and all above ESH. A group can be a positive and powerful force as I find MIP is. My home group, now on zoom , has had it's ups and downs through this pandemic. For awhile only myself and one other member were leading, and only one to two people running the zoom. We get people from all over the US and sometimes from other countries. However they tend to come and go as we are not a permanent entity. We hope to resume in person meetings but that is not happening now. My sponsor had spoken to me about when one or two people are doing all the work, it's not a healthy group. I did speak up in a nice way. A person who has not lead in months is going to lead in September. I know that I can only do my part and let the rest go. Acceptance, Letting go and letting God, not holding onto expectations, and all that other good stuff, must be kept in mind for me. I keep my QTIP close by at all times (quit taking it personally). :)
