The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my ah called on tuesday with the i can't do this without you speech.havent heard from him again till tonight,i'm doing ok, not great, my own feelings and issues.so i tell him about what's going on in my life- dad dying down to a few weeks now. all that goes along with losing a parent. it is the end of my world with him,it's not fair at all. thentheres my crack addicted husband who i need here for me to lean on. i have no one.no one to share this intimatly. he's back at mommies house again...the rescue mission was sooooo hard!i think they like make you do stuff like take responsibility for your own life. i didn't say this i just said "oh". i told him about who i've run into in th meetings.they are shocked and saddened and will pray for him and me.i share somethings that are lightbulb moments. i told him about the kids and what they are doing. he says i can't do this without you. i say you can't do it with me.i think that you have to do it for your self,.then comes i'm feeling suicidal. i said if thats true then maybe he schould call cpep.then he asks if i've already been with someone new! i would have laughed but i'm not findingthis convo funny. just a blant attempt to try to manipulate me.i don't want him back. idealy he would get better work a program and help me raise our children,. if he ever got better he would be one hell of a speaker. not my will god's will. i just came from an open aa speakers meeting praying that i would hear what i need to hear. praying for some compassion for alcoholics in general. and i did. he said somethig from the big book about praying for the person you resent or at least pray for the desire to pray for tha person. wow. i think he was talking to me! then he said"i'm a plumer and if you came up to me and asked me all sorts of plumbing questions and then just walked away you would never get the answers to you questions.pray and meditate. gotta listen for the answers.i'm gonna go listen now and see what i hear.
Thanks Serendipity. Seems like we all struggle. Bless your father. Your A sounds like my AH. He is almost never there for me when I need him the most. It is tough sometimes and not fair. But we have each other and our HP's.
