The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...and make a bar and door for thy mouth.' So advises a passage in Ecclesiastes, due to the potential damage we may cause to others and ourselves by our own words.
Reminder: Reflect on damage I may deliver blasting out my unfiltered first thoughts; such words spoken in the moment likely can cause harm that lasts much longer.
In a wise saying attributed to James: "Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the truth of man worketh not the righteousness of God." ------------------ Most often, I see my ability to speak freely as a gift. Without pause and reflection, however, I can forget the weight my words can, and the responsibility it should, carry.
Left to my own devices, I am tempted to push the responsibility of my words onto others; I find my patience often in short supply. Thankfully, Alanon reminds me of the importance of returning the focus of improvement to my own actions.
As I review this topic, I see a high correlation between my words spoken and my level of attempted control of others. Increasing my listening, slowing my speak rate and softening content pays huge dividends to all.
Grateful for the reminders and wisdom
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and for the above ESH. As a retired person from the field of mental health, I saw what words did to family membersunfiltered, uncaring, and without pausing and thinking, great damage can be done in an instant, which then is difficult to undo. Some of our slogans address this: listen and learn, think, etc. All the tools I need for living a balanced life are here for me in this program. Grateful member.
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I know how to sharpen my tongue and slice away as well as anyone else! I can say that I'm grateful for the progress in recovery I have gotten -- my relationships are healthier because I am too.
I am now still and possibly always will be searching for balance in this arena. I know me well enough that I must find a way to speak my truth or I risk misdirected words/anger. The God of my understanding knows what's in my heart and when I pause to pray before I proceed, I'm given more grace to best 'do'.
Happy Tuesday all - my ladies league got rained out this morning - we so need this rain! Make it a great day...find and keep your joy!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for the reading. Its a great reminder for me to weigh my words before i jump in. I have improved greatly in this area but there is always room for more improvement. I used to pride myself on speaking my mind and setting the "record" straight.
Little did i realize that most of the time it was none of my business and others can and will step up and fight their own battles as they see fit.
Now, I pride myself on keeping my mouth shut most times in areas that do not concern me. It is a much more peaceful, gentle way to live and is more like the person i aspire to be.
