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Post Info TOPIC: Need help fast


Senior Member

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Posts: 130
Date:
Need help fast


I could really use your great good sense right now.  My A 14 year old dog, Daisy to the animal shelter today. He is leaving here tomorrow.  I begged him not to take Daisy but he said that  he can't take her where he is going.  He had originally told me that he was going on vacation and camping for a while and heading to Washington, DC to look for jobs.  But I told him that he can take Daisy camping and that hotels and apartments will take Daisy and that he is giving me garbage reasons.


So I asked him if he is thinking of committing suicide because I know that he is depressed.  He does nothing all day long but watch TV, and drink 1.75 liters of gin, and play computer games.  And he told me that he doesn't need to commit suicide because in 1 year he will be dead. So I asked him if he had seen a dr. and he said no. And he said he didn't need to see a dr. to know this is true. And I asked him what symptoms he is having and he said blood in his urine and stools.... which you know is very serious.  And I asked him why he hadn't seen a dr. and he said because he doesn't care.


Well, you know he is an alcoholic, and a liar, and he tries to manipulate me. So I am never sure what to believe.  Of course I could very well believe that the alcohol has finally taken its toll on his health.


So meanwhile I am grieving for the dog, Daisy. And scared, and upset, and just grieving this whole situation in general.  And I don't know what to think or believe.


please, any words of wisdom would be very appreciated right now.



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Senior Member

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Posts: 171
Date:

Hi ditto,


There probably aren't any great words of advise as this is a hard one to go thru, as are many. I had an A-bro that I took care of in his last year of life, among others that I no longer do. It seems they, the A's, kinda know when its their time for some reason. I'm not sure on yours. The way and tone that my A-bro used struck a chord one day that I knew he knew the truth of what was happening to him. How, I can't really explain at the moment. When I decided to believe him about his knowing of soon to be gone, and he was only 39 and had been an A from the tme he was 12-13, a drastic change in the way w communicated came about. For some strange reason he also stopped drinking for about 6-8months and I got to know him as never before, and then the time came for him to go.In a way I thought HP gave us a good-bye present to see each other without my A-mom in the middle controlling as never before. He had always been under the influence to hide the pain of the rejection  and lack of affections from our parents and still under my A-moms hypnotic control of him.In my opinion had he not been so starved of her affections he wouldn't have drownded himself from the pain of it all, and been so willing to do anything she said just in hopes of a tini-tiny crumb of love from her. To see the pain that alcoholism does to people makes me want to puke my guts out. Soooo many damaged emotions. I was with him til did die and buried him alone. I chose to do it as I knew how rejected and abandoned and abused he was a a child. Maybe its because my A-mom swapped roles with me so young and I felt like all their saviors back then.


There is unfortunately not much you can do to change the course hes chosen to take. You may find it easier to respect the boundaries he is setting and let HP take over the enevitable. If you let it go you may find it easier to find the answers you might be looking for as far as guidence from HP for yourself direction. None of this is easy by any means. I hope you have the support groups to attend to help you to find some serinity in place to help you.  There is no way that I know of to tell the truth of whats really happening. I had to choose to trust my gut instincts and listen to what I thought HP was saying or showing me and decide what to do from there.     As far as the poochee, I'd say to pray on it and decide how much you want to get yourself involved in it and go with what you think is best for you.  


I hope this helps some. Please , take care of you as he decides what to do with himself.  Take what you like and leave the rest.


Peace, Blessings....................................Recovery.......



-- Edited by d53sjurne at 14:49, 2006-04-29

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 14:53, 2006-04-29

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 19:08, 2006-04-29

__________________
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear one, go and get Daisy out of the animal shelter. No pet at 14 years old deserves to find itself in those conditions. She is scared and confused. I think you'll generally feel better if you go and save her. Please. Diva

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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata


Member

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Posts: 11
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I wish I could say the words that would heal the pain you are feeling right now.  I know that whatever I say will be empty because I know that there are no easy answers.  My experience with the "a's" in my life is that they lie because they know the guilt will kill me faster than anything else.


So I will tell you this>>>you are my sister....in my HP and in this crazy place we call earth....


I will keep you in my prayers....at some point this situation will work out and through....until that time, I'm here to listen and cont. praying.


 


May God bless and keep you,


katrina 


 



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Katrina DeGraff


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 580
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((((((((((((BIGHUG))))))))))))  it is going to be allright. Your a wonderful person to love this animal as you did.  Heavens  a   special  place for our animals too     (i believe)   I know that ever single one of the animals I ever enjoyed in my life that have been put down    passed away    left this earth , no matter the reason    are around me now...in  a very loving     sort of spiritual way....      Protectors maybe? I like to think so.  NOW Strong and Protective     Healthy Happy  and Vital      What a blessing to of had this special animal, Daisy, be a part to your life.  I know she will always love  your kindness while she was blesssed with life and blessed to be with and near to You.  Never forget the comaraderie you too also shared, even if just moments.  Our time and theirs is different.   For our one year is seven years to them.    Keep Looking UP!    Your in my thoughts and prayers (((DITTO))



-- Edited by aunitedway at 01:15, 2006-04-30

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 838
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Ditto, is there any way you can get Daisy from the shelter?  If you can, I'm sure you will feel much better.  If not, try to Let Go and Let God.  God, or HP knows what Daisy is going through, and has her in his arms right now, giving her comfort.  Daisy knows you love her, no matter what.  You did the best you could. 


Let us know how you are.  Will be keeping you and Daisy in my prayers.


Love in Recovery,


Becky1



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Don't leave before the miracle!


Senior Member

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Posts: 420
Date:

(((Ditto)))


Thinking of you, and keep coming back Ditto.


Love, MsPeewee



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 706
Date:

I know personally I have learned not to put too much into what As say. After all they are full of drama and always on the edge. I think if your A were having blood in his urine and stool he would be panicked.  I think there are other symptoms i.e. pain when that happens. It could be that he is able to medicate them with his alcohol but from what I understand there are other symptoms.  Not that that does not happen in the end it does.  I just see many A's going to the doctor when that occurs.  I think its up to you to decide how to respond, when to respond.  I know my particular A can really manipulate me around the animals.  A's are incredibly manipulate people and they know how to push all those buttons on us the rescue button, the feel guilty button and more buttons. 


I have allowed my A to push all those buttons for years and it eventually wore down my health.  Now I don't permit those buttons to be pushed. Do I worry about the A's health.  Yes I do but I also allow him as an adult to take care of it. I know it almost killed me to try.


Maresie.



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Maresie
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