The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author had a dream about being in a burning room, gasping for breath, and the only exit was blocked by smoke and flames -- but they saw a hand beckoning them from the other side of the flames. They knew that freedom, light, and air were on the other side of the flames, and that to escape certain death they had to walk through. Still, in the dream, they hesitated to go ahead.
In their waking life they know that when things seem hopeless and they need to take a risk, they wish for a miracle -- forgetting for a moment that the miracle is already here, in the form of a higher power that helps to cope with fears and find solutions to the problems that can hold them hostage. Now they know about choices: to act or not, to take a risk or wait, to make choices that feel right.
Today's reminder: It takes courage to step beyond what is comfortable, predictable, and known. Courage is a gift from my Higher Power that I find in the rooms of Al-Anon and in the hearts of its members.
Quote from Martin Luther King, Jr., "Courage faces fear and thereby masters it."
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This is am amazing page. I remember all too well the feeling, living with the effects of my loved one's alcoholism, that I was in a burning room with no escape, and that I had to somehow make my way through the flames but had no idea how to do it. Sometimes, the image I had was of being on a sinking ship and knowing I was going to drown. That burning room / sinking ship is what got me to Al-Anon. There I learned about pathways through my frightening dilemma, paths I had never imagined.
I heard about detachment, about taking one day at a time, about not setting myself on fire to keep someone else warm, about how no one else in those rooms had been able to cause, cure, or control someone else's drinking or the outcome of someone else's disease. I learned that I needed and deserved my own recovery.
Now that I am on the other side, I know I would have gotten here one way or another -- but with Al-Anon, I got through as a whole person, a better person than when I went in. Without it, I might have been a broken person. For anyone here who is in the fire right now -- I can tell you that I have found light, peace, and joy after walking through it.
Good morning MIP! Thank you for your service, Freetime!
Walking through fire is an interesting expression for living with an active alcoholic. For me, the imagery that came up most often was that or a tornado - calm in the middle of the storm, but one misstep and you are swirling with the winds and being thrown about. Tornadoes are also very unpredictable, so something that was fine yesterday might be a misstep today. The center of the tornado seemed safe, but it really wasn't. Al-Anon was a place where I could take cover, learn about the disease, and build tools to keep myself safe during the storm.
Today, I cannot imagine my life without Al-Anon and the wisdom shared in the rooms (physical or virtual). Even when I wasn't or am not sure how meetings help me, I'm glad that I kept/keep going back, because the program is continuing to work in my life.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Freetime. Thank you so much for your service on your post. For me my comfort zone was constant misery and negativity and life just throwing me one boulder after another and I would escape with TV and fantasy and denial and I just couldnt face anymore. But now I do face the fires and yeah Im scared a lot of times but I kiss my fears and move through them and somehow get to the other side OK and not burned too badly. Its the only way Im going to grow and get past Being so fear-based is to just sometimes do it afraid. Ive had to accept that I have been fear-based pretty much all of my life and if I am to overcome this, I am going to have to walk through the scary parts of life if I want to get to the next level
Thank you so much Freetime, for your ESH and today's topic -- courage!
I so want to be courageous! My trouble comes in knowing what the right move is in my life. I do not know what I am being called to do. I have not yet developed a strong enough relationship with my HP to see which direction to take. However, I am learning to listen to my conscience and Al-Anon teachings to take actions toward healthier living. Each time I hear/feel the directive to change my thinking or to take a small action of bravery, I look for courage. Sometimes I have to repeat to myself, dont be afraid, dont be afraid.
Man, this seems silly, that at my advanced age I am afraid of life. I am so grateful for this program and the hope for real courage. One day I will be able to walk through the wild fires instead of cowering (or screaming, "WHY?") at the edges.
Thank you Freetime for your service / ESH and all the shares. Great imagery... with HP by my side, I can withstand the storm(s). Have a wonderful day everyone
Thanks FT for your service and for all the excellent ESH. My visual has always been that I'm stuck down in a deep hole, an abyss of some type. Alanon is the ladder that gets thrown down to me and I'm able to climb out. That's exactly how I felt/feel. Alanon is my life-saver, my life preserver. Without this program I would be stuck in the abyss, but instead, I'm out!
Thanks Free time for the post on Walking thru the fire. I cannot read that piece of literature without remembering my own experience with my HP during my early growth period and happening during my dream state. My HP vocally and visually allowed me to see the first early journey into finding the path(s) into the program and my recovery. It was an experience held at darkest night with HP using my experiences to grow and understand how and what I was to do to find the doors of understanding. When I found the door and was asked to open it my HP asked me, "Now what do you see (find)? and my answer was, "Another door". Both the journey thru the dark and my arrival at the door was awesome. Today 40+ years later I find myself still "at the door". My sponsor then told me, "If you listen now quietly, you can hear HP laugh". It is a nice quiet loving laugh that encourages me onward.
I don't like fire...crispy isn't my thing. (((hugs)))
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I vividly remember how I felt before recovery - that I was in a perpetual state of reactive behavior, on edge and never able to adequately breathe...
The insanity of living with alcoholism as a recovering alcoholic was too, too much for me yet I didn't know what to do or how to do it. I literally woke up with anxiety and in a panic and passed out in the same mental state of mind. As I reflect, it truly was nothing more than survival mode.
What I know or believe now is that nothing in my life has happened by accident. My arrival in denial to Al-Anon didn't feel like a solution at the time, yet it's where I found me and the grace to allow others to be who they need to be, without judgement, shame, consternation, mothering, monitoring, etc. from me.
I spent time saying good-bye yesterday to my friend who's going on hospice Tuesday. We discussed what might be next for her and our beliefs related to departing from our Earth. We talked about those in our group who are in denial and can't deal with what's real. Not with malice - denial is truly a survival tool for trauma and we were able to talk it through. My friend has the largest heart ever and wants to spend her time remaining with her husband and son. She stated it clearly and concisely. I offered meals which she accepted. Others want to stop by and say Good-bye and she doesn't want that.
We practiced and wrote down loving ways to decline 'company'. I was able to share with her that Yes and No were complete sentences and about JADE. We also discussed that others are intending to intrude or cross boundaries - it's just who they are and where they are in their experience. I told her that if there were ever a time to put herself first, it is now...
It's been a long week for me....I have another friend battling cancer and then another who was rushed to the hospital last weekend, only to find no bed because of the virus. She had to be life-flighted for urgent care - stroke. A part of me knows this is just life and there's another part of me that really wants to project and be a bit crazy. This program, when I work it one day at a time, truly grounds me no matter what's going on around me.
For those who wonder if there is a HP and if he's guiding you - my journey hasn't been straight - more like a winding road. At times I am uncertain what to do, I become clearly aware of what not to do. I've come to accept that as grace and spiritual growth for me, simply because it's a different way for me to operate. I will say, when I am uncertain and in doubt, the good old serenity prayer remains a game-changer for me, in the moment. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
