The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the importance of sharing and the positive effect it has for us in recovery. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home in which he/she did not have a voice in anything. This carried forward to adulthood in Alanon where it was extremely difficult to share in meetings. Through consistent attendance and program work, the writer began to open up and share, realizing that it was okay to convey thoughts and feelings at meetings. The Thought for the Day further explains that through sharing we can gain self-worth and a sense of who we are.
Just like the writer, it was extremely difficult for me to share during meetings when I first began attending. Instead I put a lot of energy into another necessary role: active listener. I remember my sponsor reminding me that simply sitting at a meeting and bearing witness was a crucial part of recovery as well. This forum was the first place I was able to learn though others experiences and feel strong enough to share my own, and I am grateful for that!
Good morning All! Thank you Mary, for your service today!
sharing openly and honestly about my experiences was something that took me a while to learn. I tend to stop sharing if I am spoken over. The Al-Anon meetings offer me a place to share my thoughts and feelings without worrying about being interrupted or spoken over. I'm so thankful to have the program to offer these opportunities!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares & ESH. I can't believe it's August already!!! Time seems to just fly by...
I've never been one afraid of 'sharing'. However, my 'sharing' when I arrived at recovery was more of a vocal vomit, full of blame of others, rationalizing my own insanity and reactive behavior, etc. I needed to practice active listening to better understand the difference between sharing ESH and vocally vomiting.
I am still a work in progress. I try really hard to digest the intended topic and see how it applies to me, my story, my experience, etc. and then further seek to practice sharing without throwing shade or blame on others. Before recovery, I justified most of my reactions, behaviors, choices, etc. as a response to another's. I know better now how to not give away my power and instead step beneath the surface of the moment and examine my heart and mind instead.
I am really, really grateful that our heat wave has been busted! We are experiencing cooler weather this morning and it feels so, so good! I'm giving myself a break from golf today as the week ahead is really busy. Make it a great day all - find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Mary for your service! I always seem to find something of value in your personal shares about the topics. I am grateful.
Like TT, I spent most of the early days in my meetings crying in the back part of the meeting room. I used to think it was b/c of embarrassment (and there was an element of that), but looking back and doing multiple 4th Steps, I now realize that I cried so much, b/c my daily life was all about keeping "IT" together. I was the glue that held my family in place, that kept everything from falling apart... I couldn't and wouldn't fall apart. The Al-Anon rooms were a haven... my safe space, where I could relieve the pressures of "keeping it together." The embarrassment element quickly faded when I began to realize that everyone in those rooms were living some part of my hell... so they understood like no other.
Today, this ESH stood out for me: "Those in the fellowship taught me that everyone's voice has value and deserves to be heard."
Wishing everyone a peaceful Sunday, Funday!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
what you have written resonates with me as well! My first few meetings always included a complete breakdown in tears whether I attempted to share or not. What you wrote about having to keep it all together, the relief of not having to, and getting all Of that emotion all at once- spot on!
Thank you Mary for your service and ESH. I appreciate all the shares -they enhance my growth . Active listening can be a challenge if I don't ignore my internal monologue. Reading on MIP gives me a chance to revisit topics as often as I need to absorb members ' ESH. Even if I don't engage, I journal and/or make it a point to apply what I learn. The threads are a source of comfort and give me courage to keep coming back. Have a great day.
Sharing and caring is something I didnt even know the definition of growing up with her drinking and his evil. I never had a voice or a choice but when I got into recovery its like everything just seem to come out all at once and I couldnt stop talking and I couldnt focus on others and its OK because I needed to get all that stuff out. All that poison out but I didnt share my emotions. I talked about it like it was the weather. Sharing emotions and feelings was the toughest thing for me to do. Oh I could talk about the crimes but I could not share my feelings not until I knew I was safe and that would be a long time later. And now I can show feelings and thats part of it
I was so shut down in myself, I am so glad that those days are becoming more and more in the distance because I can honestly feel feelings now deep feelings and I can share them with safe others and in safe environments. I am so grateful for this program
Thank you so much for posting about the issue of active listening. Indeed in active listening I have had to learn not tonrewct. Indeed sometimes merely witnessing is a very active role. Recently one of my coworkers had a niece who.was kirde3d. Her 17 year old niece was simply shot on the street. Her mother was also shot
Obviously my coworker is in shock
I have had to sit on my desire to show compassionnavd respodv Instead I have been in active listening. I have also been respectful
I can imagine her whole family is in uproar
For whatever reason my coworker has chosen to keep going to work
When someone has a crisis like this I tend to respond with what I wanted when I was in crisis. I don't wait to hear what they need and want.
Waiting listening and being calm is a great a Tudor bv when people are in crisis
As for sharing in meetings I am now back at a lount where I was t to share on topic. I think topics are a very good focus point
The number of stressors in our lives are a definite factor
As an essential worker I have to deal with the latest wave of the pandemic. That means everyone is getting sick
Of course I have my feelings about what is involved with people getting sick. Nevertheless it is the action I have to deal with. That is yet another stressors. Living life on life's terms is not easy. In fact it is extremely challenging. However I am up to the challenge so I am willing to negotiate it
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