The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about finding a way to replace self-pity with humor. The writer describes doing this after realizing that she was using al-anon as a place to complain. She was describing her life with her spouse and the chaos of it when she was interrupted by someone laughing. After her surprise she realized that what she had described was actually funny: demanding that her husband leave and then asking him to move back in, boxes packed and unpacked, indecisiveness and uncertainty driving the decisions. She began to develop a sense of humor and began to consider when her perception could be changed from one of self-pity to humor.
I think this is an interesting reading; what I know about myself is that I can take the concept above and put it into use to a fault. I can overuse humor, often tinged with sarcasm, as a way of deflecting from what I actually need to think about or work on. I think there must be a healthy middle ground to being able to see situations with a sense of humor without going to the humorous as a way of avoiding. I know that part of it for me is being the youngest of six children, if I could make someone laugh it was a win (extra points if the laugh was at my own expense!). I would say that the idea of looking at situations with a sense of humor is one I would have to be careful about.
Good morning, Mary, and I must say I think you made a very good point about humor vs. sarcasm vs. avoidance. Humor has been very helpful in my recovery, but it's important to be aware of my intention.
If the humor is meant to diminish someone or take revenge on someone -- I don't think that is recovery.
When I find humor and laughter useful is when it is laughter of recognition or of love. I can laugh when I have learned a new insight. I laughed when I first heard the slogan DETACH = Don't Even Think About Changing Him/Her. That was such a new perspective for me that I just had to laugh at myself for learning that. I can laugh at myself for my own foibles, if I do it the same way I would smile when i see a small child learning something new and not doing it perfectly -- it's so cute, they are trying!
I think it's been documented that watching funny movies can help with depression, or at least with a "down" mood -- so there's that.
Who knew humor could be so complicated? I hope everyone can have a good, positive laugh at least once today.
Thank you Mary for your service/ESH. I was grinning as I read the shares nodding my head as each was on point. I am tickled because on another post, tiredtonite said " I know some of you are nodding as you read this" and I laughed in agreement. I get a kick out of watching little kids or animals at play. Have a great day.
