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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Expectations
Post Info TOPIC: Expectations
Maresie888


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Expectations
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I am about to take  a day of vacation in a week 

I have appointments set up for those days 

In the meantime I have to review my own set of expectations 

Certainly the pandemic has been very very hard going. 

I have worked throughout the pandemic. The vista of the pandemic included that I had to move out of my apartment for an extended period of time. That was incredibly disruptive 

I learned a lot about how essential it is for me to have a secure base when I lost it for a few months

Then I was rocked by having Covid as well as having to change jobs numerous times 

My meditation teacher has challenged us to be ready for change. It does not appear that Covid has ended .  How can I prepare myself better 

I spoke to one of my friends last night and heard about his experience with Covid. He was in a place where he got paid when was sick. He also managed to get himself into a place where he got rest. I had neither one of them. Therefore I think I have to move myself to a place where my life is easier rather than harder

It is all very well to be resilient and getting better at being self reliant.  Self reliance is essential 

However no one needs to be disrupted over and over 

I have to work on ways to make my life easier rather than being between a rock and a hard place.

 

My expectations need to be around having a basic sense of betterment rather than being on survival.  Survival is a base rather than a place to be all the time 

 

 

 

 

 

 



-- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 13th of July 2021 06:18:58 AM



-- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 13th of July 2021 07:01:01 AM

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Maresie888


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Posts: 1360
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TT

Thank you. I have a whole day planned. Then I have more vacation time in August when I will focus on some of my goals. They are a high barrier and it is going to be quite a task to do it

A friend of mine has had a very hard time getting unemployment. I am very glad I did not opt for that route.
In addition in my state some peopenhave been washed to pay their unemployment back

I know how it is to owe the state money. They are relentless but payment plans. Odd how that is for months no.one has veenabme to get through to anyone regarding unemployment.
When it comes to owing money to the state there are no barriers
None whatsoever

I like living within my means. Those are hard lessons to learn always having money in the bank
Planning budgeting. Not having those tools is a complete and utter disaster

Maresie

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Iamhere


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Maresie - Even if your day is fully planned, I hope you enjoy the break from essential work. I have said it before and will repeat - thank you for doing your part during this pandemic, showing up every day and being essential for all of us.

What I have come to accept is that change is inevitable - every level of life. Before recovery, change (of plans, deadlines, events, etc.) literally caused me anxiety. I was so black/white in my thinking that I overthought and over-planned most things. Spontaneity was just not within my vocabulary or skill-set.

Practicing acceptance and living in the present has really helped me with this as well as my expectations. I am more able to regroup and move forward than I used to be. I always, without fail, have a Plan B. It's not always 'formal' it's just what I can do if what I plan falls through. I just keep practicing focusing on me, staying in the present and going with the flow - all foreign concepts prior to recovery.

Not too much ruffles me today. I will admit that I have better tools to manage conflict and issues when they come up. Last week, I had a conversation with the golf pro about how another volunteer treated me when I was not on duty. I calmed down, said what I meant, meant what I said and stated in factually. Within 4 hours, there was an email out to all volunteers with a change of process, which is what I asked for. I can't change others but I can be a part of the solution so what happened to me doesn't happen to another.


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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Maresie888


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Plan b is a good one 

I am in awe of the emergency workers who have held on through some really hard times.

The department I work in is understaffed. There is no one applying for work 

 

One restaurant in the area said none of her staff came back.  Once they got unemployment they just stayed on it and never returned to work 

 

This year I am down thousands of dollars. Some work is starting to.come back in the area I want to work 

In the meantime I have had to endure a long commute and a  chaotic workplace 

However there are glimmers of better times to come 

Maresie 

 



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Expectations